An English(ish) Wedding

It's overload

2010-07-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

So many of our friends took really wonderful photos of our wedding which they've sent us on CDs or posted on Flickr and Facebook. Plus we have our fabulous, terrific, handsome and sweet photographer Peter's photos (almost a thousand!)

It's wonderful to relive all the special moments and see all these people's different points of view on the day (or rather weekend). It's also pretty overwhelming in such huge numbers. I feel a bit like Mama did when she looked at all our flowers in buckets the day before the wedding - how on earth do we arrange all of this into something manageable and pretty and worth looking at?

(she totally did of course - with the help of some pretty special flower faeries!)

We're married!

2010-07-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

and back from honeymooning.
Still trying to come back down to earth - I'm sure I'll have more to tell you very soon. Suffice to say it was beyond the most wonderful wonderfulness we could possibly have hoped for.

cluck cluck

2010-06-10T13:40:00.001-07:00

It's my Hen weekend!

I have no idea what's ahead. My only stipulation was that we stay in London (getting everyone to come out to Italy is a big enough ask), there is little chance of bruising and, at some point, we're dancing.

I've taking the day off tomorrow to potter about; pick up our wedding rings; tidy the house - and myself - up a bit (I'm thinking bright orange toe nails - what do you recon?)

Then I'm having dinner with my old uni friends, some of whom have come quite far for the weekend, and popping out to see a friend's band.

Saturday - I have no idea.
Sixteen of my friends and siblings are meeting up to do .... something.
I'm a flutter with anticipation.
However, as my very bestest friend has organised it, and she knows me so well, I'm pretty sure it won't be too embarrassing or strenuous!
Just good fun with my favourite ladies.

Yeay!

[a little selection of my favourite ladies]

under ... where?

2010-06-03T11:35:00.000-07:00

Time is running out and, as I am sure you can imagine, I have a million and one things to do (most of which should have been done ages ago, of course) that I almost feel guilty for sitting and chilling even for a moment.

However, a friend of mine, who got engaged not long after me, and is getting married a few months after, asked me for some important advice. And since it is really very important advice I thought I should pass what I told her on to any other prospective brides out there.

Now I realise that these interwebbed days, the chances of us betrothed ones getting great, sane, thought provoking advice, if you just go out and look, is improving by the minute.

But this isn't a big issue thing - it's a very small one.

But a vitally important one...

Knickers.

Now I do like good underwear (and yes, that can mean sexy as long it's pretty, not slutty sexy). And everywhere I looked I was presented with prettily presented wedding garments, coyly photographed and usually with fairly hefty price tags attached. So I thought I'd splash out, save up and go superficially lovely with what's underneath. I was thinking Fraya, La Perla, perhaps some cheeky Myla, or maybe that traditional bride stalwart Rigby and Peller. I ooh-ed and ahh-ed in anticipation.

But here's the thing - my dress. My dress is so beautiful and as much as I love pretty little lacy things, I did not want the beauty of my dress ruined by the the dreaded VPL. Oh no.

When I mentioned this to Rachel at my first fitting I was shocked how quickly she answered me.

"Debenhams Invisible Underwear."

Now I know it's not the prettiest - and probably not what your husband to be is hoping to find underneath your petticoats on your first night. But trust me, if your dress is even a little bit form fitting, don't even think about anything else. I mean it - there is nothing more invisible.

And maybe get the saucy stuff out on honeymoon.

first photo from Gilly Hicks. Second via La Perla.

Oh and this is a pretty handy piece of kit too.

A Month and a Ring.

2010-05-26T14:05:00.001-07:00

Yup, (thanks Knot for bloody reminding me) it is one month to the day until blast off.

I'm half excited, can't-wait, try-wiping-that-grin-off-my-face; and half blind panic about how much there is still to do. (I daren't tell you how many things - it makes me sort of blink a lot!)

So to distract me from that, let me tell you a little story. A story about my future husband - Nick - and the ring trilogy.

chapter 1 - a borrowed ring

It was late 2008, and Nick was looking at rings.

He looked but couldn’t picture any of the millions of platinum solitaires before him upon the hand of his best lady-friend. So he stopped looking and instead he borrowed his late grandmother's old emerald ring, polished it up and, surreptitiously procuring a needle and thread, sewed into the pocket of his trousers (so it wouldn’t get lost or pinched on the journey ahead.*)
After a quick word with his best lady-friend's father about his plans, Nick hopped on a plane to Brazil, lady-friend by his side. They celebrated Christmas, and they celebrated their friends wedding, and then, just before they celebrated New Year, he unpicked his careful stitching and gave the emerald ring to his best lady-friend, asking if she wouldn't mind being his lady-wife. He hastily added that this ring was just a temporary place holder but of course she was too happy, tearful, jumping over waves and dancing to really care**.

[Blurry but happy on a Brazilian beach]

(Because the question he asked and the answer she gave were what really made them so happy and a ring is just a pretty symbol.)

Chapter 2 - no ring, no pressure

On their return to cold, wintery England, they took themselves down Hatton Garden and tried on lots of rings***. Then the future lady-wife said to Nick that now he knew what suited her, the final choice should be his alone.

Well then, as you know, businesses started tightening their belts because of Crunchy Crash and Nick and his lady-friend had to do the same. So she told him not to worry about rings and things - food and bills were more important for now - remember; his question and her answer were what really made them happy.

Seventeen months went by and lots of exciting plans were made and every now and then Nick's lady-friend had to remind herself not to grow too attached to the emerald ring on her finger that was just a temporary symbolic thing for what really made them happy.

Chapter 3 - Ring-a-ding-aling

Then one sunny Monday night, while his lady-friend poached haddock in milk and butter, Nick felt a bit restless and excited. He told himself he should be waiting for a really special moment but he just couldn't. So he told his lady-friend to wash the fish scales and greasy butter off her hands right now because he was too excited and couldn't wait a moment longer!!
So she washed her hands and then held them out and closed her eyes and when she'd done that he took his Grandmother’s ring off her finger and replaced it with a new one. And his lady-friend suddenly couldn't open her eyes - seventeen months was just too long a build up and she felt a bit queasy. But open them she eventually did and was astonished to find the most beautiful, most sparkliest, glitteriest thing she had ever seen attached to the third finger of her left hand - and it was hers to keep forever!

And because she couldn't stop staring at it, nor stop being amazed that he had designed it all by himself in total secret and couldn't stop telling Nick that it was so so worth the wait, and because neither of them could stop reminiscing about the question asked and the answer given on a beach in Brazil, and how really happy they were, the milk boiled and the fish over cooked.

But, for once, I didn't care.

[just can't seem to take a picture that does it justice

and I'm aware that this looks like I have a lightsaber attached to my hand

but hopefully you get the idea - sparkly!]

*This might seem an odd thing to do - but it's very Nick, so there you are.
**Not just randomly jumping – in Brazil on NY eve you have to jump over seven waves at midnight for good luck – as if I needed any more!
***This is when I discovered that most rings, particularly platinum ones, or ones with the stones in a row, or square cut, or too standy-up, make my hands look like spiky whitchy claws. Nick has managed to design one of the only rings I’ve ever worn that give my hands anything even vaguely approaching elegance.

all pictures mine (apologies for the quality)

40 days and 40 nights

2010-05-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

that's all there is to go ... holy crap!**

Although thinking about it, when I give up chocolate for lent, forty days seems like ages.

And with that tenuous link I thought I'd mention a few things about our church wedding...

[our little church where we are getting wedded]

I've mentioned before that we're getting married in the little church in our local village in Italy and because I am a Catholic we can do the whole ceremony, including all the legal bits, right there in church on the day.*

The Deacon there has been so sweet and helpful and he found us an English speaking priest based nearby who would perform the service for us.

We were pretty nervous about meeting him. The service is after all the most important part of the whole shebang and the officiating priest can make a huge difference. For example, it’s up to him whether we have communion during the service or not (we really didn’t want it as it would make the service so long). We also had another unorthodox request - we really wanted my mother’s cousin, who is a priest and knows us both well, to have a part in the service, preferably doing the sermon. Thing is, he’s a Lutheran priest not RC. Would this priest be ok with that? I couldn’t see why not since it’s all the same God after-all, but you never know. Nick managed to convince himself that our guy would turn out to be a real fire and brimstone ‘you’re all going to hell’ kind of dude, would speak with a incomprehensible drawl and generally steamroll his way over everything ... and we had no alternative!

So yes, we were nervous about meeting him.

Father Brian turned out to be an Augustinian friar based in San Gimignano. Originally from Boston but living in Italy for nearly forty years, he has a really calm and easy going demeanour - we both immediately felt we were in the safest pair of hands. He loved the idea of Mama’s cousin being involved and gave us a pretty free reign with the order of service. And my parents liked him because he was an academic and chatted about history and architecture - as we left his Cloisters my mother said ‘never mind him being your priest, I want him as friend!’

So nerves all gone and sighs of relief sighed (or excited jumping up and down in my case.) And a bit of quirkiness for our guests: an American Catholic priest doing all the weird and wonderful bells and smells stuff we do, and a German Lutheran priest, with his funny ruff collar and a very personal homily.

So now we’ve chosen our readings and our readers. We’re doing traditional vows. We’ve chosen our entrance music. We've picked a few hymns which we need to narrow down to three. Just need to find some recessional music (all suggestions welcome!)

*(Unfortunately Italian state doesn't recognise weddings of other denominations hence most English people marrying in Italy have to do a registry office ceremony beforehand.)

**OK - now it's 39. I wrote this yesterday but didn't get around to publishing as something rather exciting happened yesterday. Will fill you in anon.

Staggard

2010-05-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

Nick's off on his Stag Do. He doesn't know where he's going - it's a surprise - but knowing his best-men, a weekend of hedonism and shenanigans that I would rather not know about, lie ahead. Ah well, as long as he's having a good time and comes home in one piece!

Speaking of Stags - does everyone already know about iamstaggared.com? It's that shockingly rare thing - a good wedding website for boys - woh! And not only that - it's British (double rarity!) Everything I've seen before, if not just a condescending 'corner' on very female orientated sites, is either "how to put up with the crazy Bridezilla" or has "we're Crrrrazy! beer! tits!, polyester suits!" features. Charming...

But iamstaggared is grownup without being bland, just the right side of metrosexual, has some pretty good advice, like on confident speech giving, some stuff for bestmen and fathers, and most pertinently, stag-do damage limitation control. Nick likes the site but I can't be sure he's read that last one...

Meanwhile I'm watching Audrey in a Givenchy wedding dress (she, not me) and painting my toe nails, trying to resist the chocolate pudding in the fridge* and sort of relishing having the flat to my girly self just for a little bit.

*I failed, of course
** suddenly realised this comes off as a bit of sales pitch - it isn't, I promise.

The last ten days ... achievements of a skatter-brained Bride-to-be

2010-05-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

Friday 30-APR-10
Wake hung-over. Nick immured by food-poisoning. Fail to mop his brow or administer sympathy.
Bad future-wife.
Take train Clapham to collect invitation. Wrong proof has been printed.
Unable to argue due to hangover.
Bad bride-to-be.
Curse heavy bag of wrong invitations, sick boyfriend, the chemist and Clapham station.
Bad Bad Bad.
Cause Mother’s tears when I call about wrong invitations. Leave message with Father begging him to dry mother’s tears and remonstrate with printers.
Bad daughter.
Provide chicken soup and some haphazard brow mopping for boyfriend.
Plan to at least address all envelopes for invitations.
Reward myself for being a bit less bad by watching Julie/Julia. (Possible new favourite film.)

Saturday 1-MAY-10
Sun out and everything much better with the world.
Decide to celebrate our anniversary (it’s around now, can never remember exact date) by taking a trip to Borough Market.
Spend silly money on fancy cheeses and venison and capers.
Try on wedding rings. Decide a plain gold band is "the one".
Once home, make final decisions on wedding readings and hymns and order presents for bridesmaids.

Sunday 2-MAY-10
Torrential rain.
Depart in car for parent’s house (wonder if boat might be better option.)
At parent’s, eat Chicken with home-grown veg, apple charlotte, cold beers and warm fire. Mmmm.
Finally settle down to envelope writing.
Have first argument about how to address envelopes.
Have first fit of uncontrollable laughter about a story regarding one of the addressees.
Have second argument about how to address envelopes.
Decide to stick with convention when addressing envelopes - might not be everyone’s cup of tea but you can’t please everyone and life’s too short to try.
Mother realises she isn’t so sure about German conventions; Father not totally sure about British ones.
Decide to just make it up as we go along. How long do people look at an envelope anyway? And we can just blame it on being foreign either way...
By 9pm we’ve finally finish writing, laughing, arguing, reminiscing and writing again.
Sleep all the way home in the car. Bad co-pilot.

Monday 3-MAY-10
More rain.
Book ferry to France and back as we're driving to wedding. (Should have been done months ago - oops!)
Smother our living room in maps of Italy and other miscellaneous bits of Europe as we plan our route/routes.
Cancel previously planned honeymoon - we’re now going to Sardinia instead. (Much better - woop woop!)

Tuesday 4-MAY-10
Courier lots of very important documents to the Deanery in Italy. (Cross our fingers.)
Fax other important documents to British Consulate in Florence. (More crossed fingers.)
Email planned order of service to priest for approval.
Scan pictures for photobooth project.

Wednesday 5-MAY-10
Mother attends flower arranging course. Applaud her greatness.
Badger sister about drawing us a map to go in with the invitations.
Have what is supposed to be the final dress fitting. Ask for a few more tweaks. Feel sad not to be taking dress home.
Stress about hairstyles. (How should I have my hair?) Stress about shoes (still haven’t got shoes!)
Relive stress by cooking and dancing with husband-to-be.

Thursday 6-MAY-10
Final and correct invitations delivered to work. Swoon at their beauty.
Vote.
Ask a friend to film our wedding on Super 8 since he’s pretty professional with a camera. He’d be delighted. Applaud his greatness with some Chablis!

Friday 7-MAY-10
Make plans for wedding cake baking with aunt.
Sister sends map she’s designed. Declare it to be the best map that has ever existed in the history of maps. Nick and family concur and all applaud her greatness.
Stay at work late printing and guillotining map.

Saturday 8-MAY-10
Pick up mother’s 60th birthday surprise.
Blindfold mother - can she guess what it is? It’s her little brother come all the way over from Berlin for the day! Hooray!!
Head to Selfridges to try on hats and possible outfits for ‘mother of the bride’. Love many hats.
Day ends with a surprise dinner in a crazy Austrian themed restaurant with more of mother’s friends. Lots more hoorays and applause for greatness all ‘round!

Sunday 9-MAY-10
Stuff all the ****ing envelopes! Check and recheck.
Put right stamps on for UK, Germany, Italy, USA, Australia, Israel, Singapore, Turkey and India. Decide the taste of Royal Post Office stamps may linger on my tongue forever - yuk! And wonder why our envelopes taste of rice cakes. Hmm?
Hand deliver to all addressees living in West London.
Make more bunting.
Stress about shoes.
Confirm Hen plans with maid-of-honour.
Tweak, finalise and confirm wedding gift list.
Husband-to-be calls time out and orders pizza, movie and cuddle.

First picture found on Peonies and Polaroids
All others from my phone so sorry if they're a bit crappy.

2010-05-07T16:39:00.000-07:00

We took a stroll yesterday, my husband-to-be and I, to our polling station via the laundrette and under the almond trees that grow in what we locals refer to as "dog poo alley" (so twee no?)

The trees are now a lot less blossomy than they were a week ago.

After a moments silence:

him: Hon, I was just thinking about the, um, er ...

(cue frown and a weird sort of sweeping/batting arm wave motion)

me: election?
route?
wedding?
pub?
chilled west london vibe?
laundrette ticket?

him: no! (a bit annoyed at future wife trying to guess the end of every sentence)

him: you know - the um, stuff you throw ... confetti!

me: confetti? what about it?

him: don't you think we could collect some of this blossom to use at our wedding?

me: it is very confetti like

him: and there is loads of it!

me: (a moments thought - mostly how untypical a groom he is) I'm not really sold on having dogshit scented confetti ... but I like you're thinking.

him: perhaps we should have a tree like this in our garden

me: yes. perhaps we should.

Then we made some democratic Xs and went to the pub.

The Itchy Year

2010-05-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago a boy woke up on a bank holiday Monday, still fully dressed and with a hangover lurking somewhere, unsure of where he was or how exactly he had got there. However, the north London flat he found himself in had freshly brewed coffee so he stuck around and got to know the girl whose flat it was and who he had gallantly escorted home in the early hours.

Seven years later and he’s still drinking my coffee …

Thanks for seven lovely years ... the last time we celebrate this anniversary!

Belated Blog Birthday

2010-04-09T02:17:00.000-07:00

I missed my blogging birthday last week as I was in Italy without any internet. One whole year of very sporadic blogging. Not sure if I'm any older or wiser but I've enjoyed it and made some blogsville pals along the way which is cool.

Here's little video here to celebrate friendship and love at first sight ...

Hunting for Dresses part trois

2010-03-26T14:15:00.000-07:00

(Three is the magic number!)

So the story so far - after a fairly thorough search (see here) I finally found the perfect dress (see here.)*

But I am not the only one in need of frock .. I have an entourage and they need to look fabulous too!

Of all the decisions I have had to make, I never, ever, thought for a moment that this one would be the most difficult. Why on earth was it so difficult? My bridesmaids (sisters three) were pretty easy going about it, and they are all between a size 8 and 10 and would look good in a bin bag. The problem was me - I just couldn't make up my mind what sort of look we should go for. I fell in love with every idea I came across (I read too many blogs - that may be the problem.)

Back in the early days (a year ago now - eek!) I was pretty sure I didn't want them in matching block colour. I think mainly because I was (still am) resisting having a "wedding colour".

Then I was quite taken by the idea of Liberty print dresses.

Then I got my dress and wondered how much the girls' dresses needed to go with mine ... (answer, obviously: they don't)

Then I saw this picture and thought - I want them in a white or cream dresses of their own choice. How lovely and original!

[via once wed - so cute huh? by the way how lovely are the flowers?]

Then I found this collection of dresses all available at Portobello so it was off to the market. Possibly a bit optimistically since it was about 2c and trying on dresses in outdoor market stalls wasn't the funnest.

You see what a nightmare I've been? And my stoic sisters stand shivering in the cold hoping I'll make a bloody decision.

Nope.

We went to defrost in the Westfield (big mall, conveniently near) and thought we might as well have a quick peek in the bridesmaid staples that are Coast, Hobbs and LK Bennet. The latter had a couple of very pretty floaty little numbers. The sisters three tried them on and smiled.

"We like us being all matching" they chorused "We all feel pretty and just like bridesmaids" (well maybe a bit less Madeline) and the lovely lady in the shop who gave us bubbly and cups of tea said "I can give you a discount."

I wish I could say that was that. But is wasn't. For the next two months I vacillated. I thought about these dresses from Fenwicks (wouldn't they look nice in three different colours?)

[taken with my phone - apologies for quality]

but then they weren't really that nice on.

I went to a fabric shop with Mama and she offered to make the dresses**. Great idea - but then what style?

[from sewdirect - i love this website!]

More emails.

Two of the three are deep in their studies by this point. I would want to kill me.

Then last week Nick and I were back in the Westfield (we were buying maps) and we passed LK Bennet.

"Look Nick - that's the dress the sisters three quite liked and I didn't get."

"Show me"

So I tried it on for him and even held two more on hangers next to me so he could image the three of them together.

"And they liked them?"

"Yes. They said they felt pretty"

"and what don't you like about them?"

"umm - they are all matching and they are from an obvious shop"

"so you wanted to be more original?"

"um, yes"

"don't you think the sisters three have pretty individual styles and will make these lovely dresses look original anyway?"

"well, yes ..."

"the dress is gorgeous - get three now and make everyone happy"

Damn - I so should have brought him along ages ago.

So I slightly sheepishly asked the lovely manager (she really was very lovely) if could still have that discount. And now we have three of this dress and everyone has sighed a huge sigh of relief.

Hooray! - now what can I be a right pain about next ....

PS - I would like to thank the sisters three for lots of things but especially for their patience with this. Also - I actually only have two sisters, one is a doctor and the other is setting up her own business. The third is my sister-in-law-to-be who is doing her finals at Oxford a fortnight before the wedding. Saints I tell you!

*Well actually you don't get to "see here" because I'm not showing it anyone until the day. I'm crap at keeping secrets and very much want to show everyone but just this once I'm going to try.

** she really is that handy and has made our flowergirl's dresses in a jiffy including smocking them. Amazing. However, making dresses, if you choose nice fabric, is actually not at all cheaper than buying them off the rack. Ironic but sadly true.

Versus ....

2010-03-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

So how likely do you think England are to win their group this summer? Pretty likely? Even without Beckham playing? Are they really likely to win every game against Algeria, Slovenia and the USA?

And how likely are Germany to come second in their group? Will either Serbia, Ghana or Australia beat them?

Yes, this summer I will be paying very close attention to the Football World Cup in South Africa. I love watching international football as much as anyone and a World Cup summer is usually something I look forward to a lot. After all I have not one but two teams to support (not counting my soft spot for the boys in blue). And if they end up playing each other, brilliant! Or even better, if they both get through to the finals and face each other at Soccer City on 11th July I couldn't wish or hope for better.

However, this year I have a slightly different reason for paying special attention to the group stages ....

Because on 26th June, at about 8.30pm (about half way through the speeches and just before we sit down to dinner) the first game of the knock-out stage will be played; the winner of group C versus the runner up of group D.

I think you see where I'm going with this.

There is a strong possibility that either one half our guests, or the other, or even all of our them, will be very distracted that evening.

All I can say is thank goodness there is no chance of Italy playing that day otherwise I don't think any of our vendors would even show up!

Hunting for Dresses part deux

2010-03-01T15:32:00.001-08:00

(And that's 'deux' not look any further for you Nick!)

So in my last post on this subject I dwelt rather heavily on the negative brain-melting putting-way-too-much-pressure-on-myself side of my dress hunting experience. I will now skip over to a much sunnier side of the street. 

A complete abjuration of wedding dress shops wasn't really a workable option so I decided instead to rip off the plaster. I would take a Monday off work and have one whole day's try-on-athon, and I would do it with my mother. I was a little nervous. Mother and daughter stuff can be famously tricky - mothers don't just push your buttons, they made your buttons! I'm very close to my Mama but she influences me in ways friends can't or don't and has almost as strong an opinion on what suits me as I do. But I needn't have worried - she ain't no slouch in the style stakes and all she really ever looked at was the expression on my face so in the end the day pretty much rocked.

Of all the places I ended up going to these are the ones I recommend for those still hunting...

The Designer Wedding Dress Exchange - run from a really nice (and normal!) lady's front room in Weybridge. She has tons of designer dresses, including Vera Wang, Caroline Castigliano, Sassi Holford and on and on plus veils and shoes and other trappings. And everything is a lot cheaper than in the shops - I mean A LOT! I found a dress there that I liked - the David Fielden number below; all floaty and romantic - which I nearly got until we decided it looked a bit maternity on me. I really recommend this place though.

Oxfam - It was Peacocks Feathers' blog that first made me aware that this exists. Brilliant idea but it is luck of the draw. This time we went to the one in Leatherhead where the assistant again was really nice and has since called me when some new dresses came in that she thought I might like - how nice is that?!

Shikasuki - Speaking of the lovely Rachel Peacocks, I got to meet her in the very person when I went to this amazing vintage clothes shop in Primrose Hill. Not really a wedding dress shop but they have a incredible collection of beautiful pieces - one 1950 sequined evening dress I was very tempted by. I didn't go for it in the end as I knew Nick wouldn't like it that much (something about the neckline) but it would have been something wickedly different and fun. Maybe next time (ha ha).

(I did buy my sister some fabulous clip earrings there though.)

Mirror Mirror - verging on the snooty/pushy but they have a great selection of designers and let you take your time and take photos which is more than can be said for some other shops. I had a brief crush on a Cymbeline dress but got over it.

and finally ...

Heirloom Couture - Rachel (a different one) has a tiny little studio on Kensel Road. The first time I went I was alone, soaked from the rain and exhausted from work. It was like walking into an Aladdin's cave of dresses - beautiful pieces from 20's 30's, right through to amazing sequined 80s numbers. And best of all is Rachel herself - she's so sane and sweet you feel as though she is already one of your best friends the moment you walk in. But I was so ashamed of how sweaty and bothered I was and the fight I'd just had with my sister on the phone that I didn't really take any of it in. But back there with my mother I tried on a dress that fitted me as though it had been made for me and we couldn't stop smiling. Then I put on a veil and Mama burst into tears. So now the dress and the veil are mine and best of all, I got to share a very special moment with my dearest mother.

all pictures by friends and relatives except the first which is from here

I'm not I'm not I'm not

2010-02-23T11:49:00.002-08:00

But in case anyone was wondering how I want to NOT celebrate NOT moving into the early (shh, whisper) 30s this weekend...

It would start with this...
and with warmer toes...then playing with my kind'a toys ...(don't ask but I really really want/need one)
and doing some important research ...

and finishing with some treats for ears and heart...

Please.

Thanks

via 1. This is Glamorous 2. via Need a Present 3 & 4. via Amazon 5. wish I could remember - sorry!

Hunting for Dresses part un

2010-02-21T07:02:00.000-08:00

(also known as part urrrgh)

It's funny how often the second or third question people ask when hearing of your impending nuptials is "have you found the dress?"
I have to admit it stressed me out somewhat - I totally over thought the whole process of picking a dress and went searching for some deeply esoteric philosophy on the whole thing and just generally tied myself up in knots.  Mostly this was because there was a really expensive dress that I really liked and that was just a bummer because I felt stupid about wanting to spend so much on a stupid dress.

But now that I have found a dress I know why people ask that question.  Because now I have the dress I smile a sort of secret happy smile when people ask me - because I am picturing the day itself so much more clearly now. And because the dress I found is so much better than anything I could have hoped for. So I guess people ask because they hope to see you pull a happy face (or maybe it's because it's  more obvious than asking "have you chosen your font for your place settings yet?".)

As you can maybe tell from the collage above and from my previous posts here, here and here I spent months collecting tons and tons of pictures of dresses from millions of different sights and scrolled through them more often than was healthy. It sometimes felt like deciding who was going to be rather than what I was going to wear. Silly - but also fun in it's own way.

Then eventually I started going to shops which was usually a bit overwhelming. I think it may have been mentioned on a few other blogs before but, damn it, wedding-shop assistants can be annoying as hell! It should be like one of those dressing room montages in a movie - try on some totally wrong but funny dresses, laugh and pose and then find the right one.  But those bloody assistants are always there in your face, "helping", commenting, or even looking non-plussed (and in some cases suspicious) - none of which puts you very at ease in my opinion.
 
Nope - montages don't work in real life and I was finding the amount of brain space this choice was taking up stressful if not say distracting from the things that really matter. It was winter - I was endlessly ill. I was fed up. So I took a break and refused to even look at another dress.

Beetroot lovin' from a slightly random but totally ace little sister...

2010-02-19T10:26:00.000-08:00

I wasn't entirely honest about Valentines in my last post because I did get something special in the post. Thing is, it arrived on Friday when I was feeling really down and snuffly and in need of comfort. So I tore it straight open and gobbled up the contents without savouring (or taking a picture).

But it was so beautiful - the envelope was a brown paper heart sewn with blue stitching and inside was an other cellophane heart stiched with blue as well and inside that was a little silver heart and inside that was a pink coloured heart-shaped cake with red cherries in it. I did feel quite a bit better after eating it. And then felt guilty that I hadn't saved it or done anything in return.... what a bad big sister I am!

Told you she was artistic

Real romance

2010-02-15T15:16:00.000-08:00

No Valentines stuff for us* - just a weekend away from London and planning to stay with my bestest bud and the beautiful baby boy she's gifted the world (with some help from master cook husband). Frankly I couldn't think of anything more lovely to be doing than watching my godson blow yogurt raspberries across the kitchen! What a charmer!

And on Wednesday I am going with littlest sister (the arty one) to my very first dress fitting. Very very excited and strangely nervous - will it look as nice as I remembered? Oh, I haven't told you yet about the finding of the dress, have I? Well I'll save that up for after the fitting...

(*ok, maybe I accidentally bought some Pierre Hermé macarons and we ate them on Sunday night and maybe I said 'happy valentines' when I let Nick have a crumb or two but the truth is I bought them because everyone in Blogsville has been saying they are better than Laduree and I needed to know (NOW!) if this was true. So not really Valentinesy if the truth be told. I'll even admit that I couldn't make up my mind and will need to conduct a few more tests to reach a conclusion. So there!)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder*

2010-02-03T15:35:00.001-08:00

*and that includes you sunshine!

OK, so I took some unplanned leave from the world of web but I am back now and full of good blogging intentions! Promise!

But we haven't been slacking on the actual wedding organising at all - though an awful lot of it is logistical or official stuff which is maybe why I have been away from the blog for so long.  I balked at trying to make signing forms and paying bills sound romantic or exciting. 

Having said that - it suddenly does feel rather exciting.  We did our Marriage Care course (obligatory but actually recommended); we've had several meetings with Father John from our parish church (he's nice); we filled in all kinds of paperwork and dug out everything that documented our past (birth, baptism, communion, 25m swimming); we met with a solicitor friend to sign our "Declaration of Freedom" (best pronounced in a Braveheart warble I think); we registered a wedding list (although choosing any gifts is as yet too daunting); we created a very homemade website (actually just a blog in disguise); we researched and contacted every hotel in a 10k radius for our guests; we been keeping track on a super spreadsheet all the messages from friends and family about who was arriving and when.  And lots lots more  stuff, and as we did these little tasks and chores the magical far off unreal feeling about getting married lessened and the real, practical, solid feeling increased - exciting in a whole new way!

And also ... a bit terrifying. Because it seems that with every task we complete another ten pop up in their place. And thrilled though I am about how many of our wonderful loved ones have booked their flights and hotels I'm getting not infrequent anxiety dreams about them all showing up and there being no food, or pissing rain/hail/snow (it could happen, even in Italy!) or the priest being really horrible (we haven't met the one in Italy yet - eek!) or a power-cut, or or or, I get a HUGE spot! (I have a huge spot - grr)

OK - deep breath - it'll be fine - we're in wine country and our friends are ace - surely a recipe for guaranteed fun., yes?

Yeah, most of the time I do take a deep breath, I read this post on APW, and I smile and look forward to hazy fragrant summer days. And dancing ... and dancing ... and dancing ... with my husband....

Shh, don't tell anyone, but we've been learning to dance - it is soooo much fun - yup, it's not all been paperwork and panic attacks; we've done loads of fun stuff too. More of that to come shortly.

photos via Lanalou and A Foxy Wedding (I think)

Winter Blues

2009-12-11T09:33:00.001-08:00

I feel as though I have had a tissue attached to my swollen red nose since the clocks went back. I really dislike winter – I love the idea of frosty clear days, snuggling by a fire and cute cashmere socks but the reality of damp toes and darkness and layers and layers of scratchy wool make me cranky. I’m no good at being ill either and I’ve gone from having strep throat to full on cold and just when I have finally recovered Christmas party season starts and I’ve caught “wine” flu. Whinge whinge whinge!

But little bits of progress on the wedding front are cheering me up (although trying to imagine June is almost beyond me). Deposits are down on some important things, one of which is the venue for the aperitivo (reception) just after our service. It’s a medieval fort in the middle of the village which has a nice restaurant and rooms where some of our guests and most importantly, Nick’s family, will be staying. They also make their own wine and beside the old cellars they have a lovely big lawn that looks out over the vineyards and across the beautiful valley to our house, where the evening’s festivities will be taking place.

My ever stoic parents have just returned from there where they were getting the house and garden all winter ready and frost proofed but found time to also negotiate a great deal. We slightly get the feeling that the people that run the venue are better at wine tastings than hotel bookings so it took longer and more effort than it should have done but done it is.

Mama did make me laugh though – Nick sent her a list of his immediate family members so she could choose and reserve the nicest rooms for them and he forgot to include himself on the list … this was her response:

Dear Nick and Bella, I have rung Joe about the nicest rooms, but here is what I think *(I am going to be very bossy and strict here, forgive me):
There is a reason for the tradition why a bridegroom must not see his bride on the wedding day before he sees her coming down the aisle towards him, in fact at midnight you two must go different ways - I hope for the last time in your whole long blessed life together!!!! No way are you going to get dressed together with curling tongues lying around and wedding dress hanging from a hook...
So you, Nick, have to join your family for just that last night and Bella will come to us if that's ok.
Saturday night I suppose there will not be much sleeping at all but Bella's room at home will definitely then be Mr. and Mrs. T’s rooms and on sunday you have to decide if you go off on your honeymoon or spent one more night in the vicinity before you go away. that is totally up to you and you can even keep it a total secret from anyone.....(also a tradition for a reason..)
Is that ok??
m

OK – maybe you need to know my mother to know how endearing this is. We’re definitely all of the opinion that you can pick and choose whichever traditions you want and leave the rest but this one clearly means a lot to my Mama!

Our home in Italy last Christmas - seriously!

Illustration via Print Society

Present Prospects

2009-11-29T11:21:00.001-08:00

Less than a month Christmas and December has really snuck up on me. I bearly know what I'll be doing for the festivies let alone what I am getting anyone, especially Nick (ahh – boys are so hard to buy for!) and the crowds on Oxford Street are already making me hyperventilate with fear. And I’ve got all the prospective in-laws to buy for too as well as my own over-large family. Humph!

I usually do a massive round of baking and making during advent with the premise that home-made edible goods are more loving and much more valuable than the usual Christmas tat (and a bit cheaper!) However this year work is so overwhelmingly busy that I get home at nearly 10pm and have just about enough energy to drag myself to bed and it doesn't look like it will let up until it's too late. Actually, it’s not so much the baking I don’t have time for but the buying of ingredients – I just can’t face the shops. Maybe I’ll order a delivery from the supermarket and put my pinny on during a Strictly and X-Factor marathon.

Of course the thought of presents for friends and family naturally leads my mind, selfishly, to their presents to me (I mean us – sorry) in the coming year. Yup it’s the dreaded Wedding List (cue horrified scream here!)

Do we, don’t we? What’s reasonable, what’s achievable? Do we even need anything? Can we fit any more stuff in our little flat? How do we know what we’ll need in the future? And if we do go ahead with one, where is the best place to go? I know which one is the most obvious choice but I sort of feel everything from John Lewis looks like, well, that it’s from John Lewis.

As for what to put on this list, if we have one, I already have more kitchen gadgets than our house can handle and have inherited crockery and bowls and things so the usuals are covered (although I do yearn for a Kitchenaid!)

ooh - blue to match my pots and pans!

I think what we'd like most on our wedding list is good bed linen - Peacock Feathers was recently blogging about Dorma, one of the nation's oldest bedlinen brands, which made me think what a good present that would be. It’s quite symbolic - the marriage bed and all that - and definitely for both of us together. (I’d be lying if I said Nick would appreciate a Kitchenaid as much as I would.) Plus is there anything more delicious getting into a freshly made high thread count sheeted bed?

image via Dorma - I usually prefer plain white sheets but Darcey is slso so sweet!

Winter Wonderland

2009-11-26T08:03:00.000-08:00

So this wedding on Style me Pretty is pretty much as different from the wedding we have planned as it is possible to be but it's somehow given me brand new hankering for a snowy winter wedding. Impossible - we'd either have to be married next month or wait another year (nooo!), where could we have guaranteed snow? plus I hate the cold and don't want to be so formal but ..

for a day dream wedding ... ahhhhh, so romantic!

Save the Dates - a sneaky peak

2009-11-25T02:27:00.001-08:00

Our Save the Dates should be going in the post this weekend.

Big step!

We weren't really sure how best to go about doing these - it's not as if we have received many in the past, not really being normal practise in this country to send them. But since we're expecting our guests to fly out for our wedding we needed to give them more of a heads up than the traditional eight to six weeks of an invitation, as well as information on where to fly to and where to stay etc.
Littlest Sister had promised some artwork for us but she has been frantically busy so instead offered us a painting she had done a while ago. It's a lovely Tuscan scene but not of our house or our church so, unless we clearly explained that Sister had painted it, not very personal.

What to do, what to do?

Then we had a brilliant idea™ ...

On a trip to Berlin a few years ago Nick and I came across a restored 1950s photobooth that took proper old fashioned film strips with four different pictures. We've had that little strip of us mucking about in the booth on our wall ever since and it occurred to us that something like this would make a great "Save the Date". We could hold cards with the words on and it would be personal without being cheesy. Yeay!

Everyone remembers these booths from their childhood (or Amalie!) but they have disappeared from streets and stations. Now they’re all digital and often just duplicate the picture four times – not fun. I googled “old fashioned photobooth London” but all I could find were other people looking for them and references to that one in Rosa Luxemburg Platz Berlin. Then suddenly at the tail end of a photography chat site I saw a message left this summer from the very Germans who’d restored that booth saying they were planning to come to London for a few months – were they still here? I clicked on the link and emailed them. A reply came minutes later – yes, the booth was still set up in Cargo’s beer garden. What luck! Two days later we made the trek east with ‘SAVE’ ‘THE’ ‘DATE’ ‘26.6.2010’ written on cards (in four different fonts as we couldn’t decide on our favourite) and even changes of outfits (don’t laugh.)

Disaster – a big “out of order” sign on the booth! Oh no! Now I know east London isn’t as far as east Germany but it was still some effort and we were devastated. But that email ... it had a phone number on it! I called. Alex answered. 10 minutes later he was there. Another 10 minutes and the machine was fixed. Several hours (and beers) later we had tons of strips and everyone in Cargo from the bouncers to the bands were laughing at what we were doing. We’re so happy with the results.

Once our guests have received them I’ll show you the final result but in the mean time here’s a little sneak peak

A big thank you to Alex from Photoautomat (look, that's him below fixing the machine for us!) and the dudes at Cargo who kept us supplied with pound coins and beer.

Remember Remember the 9th November

2009-11-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

Twenty years ago my uncle was woken up by a phone call

"they're pulling it down - the wall is coming down!" said the voice of a good friend "let's go!"

So on the 9th November 1989 my mother found out that her brother had spent the night celebrating with all the population of a city that they never dreamed would be unified in their lifetimes.

As I child I can't remember really wondering why that wall was there or what the world was like before it existed but I do remember it. And luckily I was old enough, on the night it came down, to remember that happening very clearly and how astounding and emotional it was for my mother.

So not about the wedding - but a bit about the people who will be there and about a wonderful city I love very much.

[ a terrible picture but it was taken almost exactly five years ago, when I introduced my boy to Berlin, and he fell in love too]

The dress that wasn't and the me that isn't

2009-10-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

I was so sure I would never be one of the those who fell in love with a dress. I mean, it's just a dress and no piece of clothing has ever made me feel it was "the one" before so why should something long and white do it now?* I thought I'll go somewhere ethical and cheap, pick something that looks OK and that'll be it. On to the more important things.

Oh that long white piece of clothing, there's so much bloody hype about it. It seems to define us brides in a way the rest of the wedding paraphernalia doesn't.  I'm pretty sure this isn't as it should be.  But whether we choose to go whole hog traditional or not we can't help it making a statement about ourselves - white; not white; short; long; veil; no veil; vintage; new; home-made; bought for a fortune; bikini; jeans & tshirt; statement; no statement; whether or not we make these choices consciously, they end up saying something about us and also about how we feel about the whole wedding thing. 

I know, I know, I'm totally over thinking this.  I can't help it I'm afraid, it's a serious flaw of mine. That and subclauses.**

I tried to put all this to the back of my mind and off I went to my first ever wedding shop which happened to be an Oxfam Bridal and tried on a heaps and heaps of dresses.  And nothing felt right but I didn't know why - I mean, they were all wedding dresses, what more did I want?

So on Mum's advice I went to some posh shops to have some fun with it and to get an idea of what I thought suited me. And I saw tons of stuff I liked and decided what cut and what fabric I preferred and preened and pranced in front of my bridesmaids and it was all very golly. But I couldn't put my finger on what was bothering me. Somehow these dresses came with baggage - it was as if they were wearing me. I did feel like a bride and that's what I was, right? "A" bride? What the hell was the problem?

So this is the dress that answered that - not because it was "the one" ... but because it wasn't.

My sister persuaded me to put it on. It's tea length, big skirted, 1950s style. I put it on and just loved it - it was the kind of dress you knew you would have a good time in. And it was so flattering - it gave my cucumber shaped body curves and showed off my legs. It swung about in the most fabulous way. Ooh I loved it.

Look - look how pretty. Click on this link and see how it swooshes and swings.

via Angelica Bridal

But but but. I knew this dress wasn't me - it's for someone pouty and dainty with short neat hair - Amelie or Coco, not gangly northern European Bella. My sisters could pull it off - they ride cute bicycles, do arty things and wear creative jewelery. My hair is always a mess, I have bad spacial awareness and I can't do  neat eye makeup. In the past I've longed to be a girl who could wear that dress but I have now come to terms with the fact that I've got my own thing going on. I realised that what is most important is not that I look as pretty as a picture but that my friends and family, and most importantly Nick, recognise me on my wedding day.

So much as I find it absurd that one piece of clothing should have such over-hyped significance, I think I'd rather define than be defined.

And as though to prove my point Style me Pretty featured that dress in a photoshoot - soo cute but me in white gloves and oversized pearls - it just ain't me baby!

Then, after all that 'right-on-sister', personal affirmation stuff, I have promptly gone and got myself a serious crush*** on a stupidly expensive dress. Oops.

*I'm being a bit disingenuous because I do in fact search high and low for the perfect jeans and when I find them, after an inevitably lengthy struggle, love them more than inanimate denim deserves to be loved. But, hey, I practically live in them so that that's different.

**Please note that I am not making any judgements or assumptions here either - I not saying what a dress says about the bride - just commenting on how it somehow says something at all!

*** Note "crush" not "love". I'm still trying to be a bit rational.

An Arbitrary Grading ....

2009-10-13T04:39:00.000-07:00

The number of things on our to do list that are "in progress" has increased significantly over the last few weeks I am relieved to say although nothing but booking the church is as yet marked as "completed".

One little tick though goes next to the guest list.

I think.

Oh my days it's a tricky one. Via the wonder of Google Docs we set up a shared spreadsheet upon which we added absolutely everyone we could possibly wish to have at our wedding. So did our parents. Unsurprisingly we ended up with a list of several hundred people. So a couple of weekends ago Nick and I crept home to Ma and Pa's with more than a little trepidation, to refine the list. Trepidation because we'd heard so many horror stories about the fearsome family feuds that erupt during this process. Well maybe you could put it down to a good Sunday roast, or maybe there is no-one in our ken contentious enough to argue about, or maybe my folks just rock, but Montague and Capulet it was not.

However, as we aimed to get it down to about 100 and the ‘A’ list was well over that, we all became steadily more hard-hearted. Ma and Pa were pretty ruthless but in the most gentle and humorous way, as they dozed by the fire with the cats on their laps ...

"Well, yes they are our best friends but their children are younger so maybe they can come to a little sisters' wedding."

"Oh, they'll still be our friends if they don't come."

"we'll invite them for a holiday instead"

but mostly it was "B list" "B list" "B list"

"have we made it to the 'A' list ??"

It felt quite ridiculous doing this sometimes – as though we were putting some kind of arbitrary grading on friendships and relationships - as though it was some kind of ghastly VIP list - aren't we being a bit pooterish? Maybe no one would want to come anyway? Maybe they'd rather all be at Glastonbury that weekend???

Finally we got down to the very barest bones of our friends and family circle. And yet it still wasn't under a hundred. We settled it at 120. Half a dozen or so of those were either over 90 or living so far away we could confidently expect them not to come and maybe a few others wouldn't be able to make it. Not that I would wish even half a little finger of those people away.

Convention says invitations should go out a maximum of 2 months before the wedding but since everyone will have to buy plane tickets and book hotels etc we’re going the “Save the Date” thing too – we are aiming to get these out within the next week or so, mostly by email to save money and the planet. Ideally we’ll have a very simple (not at all cheesy in any way) website URL included. I know I know – websites are often horribly naff but it will contain maps and hotel info and hopefully guest can arrange car shares through it, things like that - useful stuff.

I just wonder though, can you ask people to RSVP to Save the Dates? It would help so much if we knew if anyone definitely couldn't come...

picture via Life.com

and a bit more blog loving ...

2009-10-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

Like many a bridal blogger I love browsing sites like Style me Pretty and Snippet and Ink, mostly just checking out the lovely pictures for inspiration. The recommendations however, are rarely much help because they are all America based. And I wondered why there was nothing similar for us Brit Brides. Surely we too want something more than the pathetic little that is on offer - that isn't raming products down our throats or isn't painfully cheesy (you know, bright pink, comic sans script and has little info beyond lists of soft rock songs to play at the wedding disco).

Well earlier this summer our prays were answered by a little lady who didn't just wonder - but did. Little Miss Wedding. In her own words ...

the only UK wedding site to offer brides inspiration and ideas that are a little bit different – glamorous, fun, creative and good value. That is what we are all about. Having fun, celebrating the love and enjoying these special times with friends and family.

Hooray! We love her blog a lot.

And bless her cottons, she named my blog as one she likes too - wowsers!

Ok, so she's a friend of mine. Her site does rock though as does she. Thanks Little Miss Wedding and good luck on the next adventure!

Random Things ...

2009-09-26T10:30:00.000-07:00

Gaynor, a fellow Bride to Be and writer of a lovely blog called Our Day by Design has tagged me with a very sweet award and a neme where I have to relate 10 random things about myself and then pass it on. I'm trying not to think about this too hard and just go with it....

1) I'm the eldest of three girls. We are each born exactly three years and two weeks apart each (an organised German mother!)

2) I have weekend newspaper obsession. I get a bit antsy if I fail to get at least The Saturday Guardian and The Sunday Times. We take all week to read them cover to cover and always recycle.

3) I'm a Newcastle United supporter. (yes, really! can't you tell?)

4) I'm dyslexic (you may have noticed).

5) I hoard books. I just can't throw anything I have read away so I drag shelves and shelves of dog eared paperbacks from one home to the next. I should really have a cull - it's getting out of hand.

6) My shelves also contain several large files full of recipes cut out of magazines. These recipes are recorded in a very geeky and complicated cross-referencing card-file system. It makes me seem totally crazy OCD.

7) We collect vintage film posters. My favourites are Polish or Cuban silk screen prints but the best one we own is a rare Japanese poster for Bullit.
8) I knew N was the man I'd marry within a few weeks of meeting him. I was quite surprised by how obvious it was to me - until then I didn't really think I was the marrying kind.

9) I'm a totally undiscerning music lover. My i-phone plays it all - from 90s rock to Northern Soul; funk; folk; house; hip hop; chart pop; samba; blues; electronic; classical and much to my DJing hubby-to-be's despair - country.
This is just really my preamble to admitting that most of all I love love love Dolly Parton. Oh I so do.
10) I'm a Godmother! My beautiful perfect little godson was born last month to my lovely bestest friends and I am so looking forward to watching him grow-up.

And now I'm tagging a few lovely blogs I found recently:

Gaia from Alice's Advenures in Wonderland
Laura from Cider & Sass
Lana Kenney from lanalou
Mo from Pink Argyle
and Artimis from tales of a jUnkaholic

M.I.A.

2009-09-26T08:57:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad blogger I know. I don't know how people do it - write lucid, amusing regular blog posts and have a full time job and social life. If anyone out there has the secret, please do divulge.

In my defence I'm exhausted and pretty brain dead at the moment. Much as I'd love to share all I've been doing and seeing I simply haven't the time and energy to metaphorically lift pen to paper. N and I have been communicating largely through laconic text messages or monosyllabic grunts and my evenings are spent desperately not trying to fall asleep in front of the telly. Yup, this is the current state of our West London dinky life. Sad, I know.

I have a new job you see. Not that my old job didn't keep me busy but I had been at it for five years and as a result most of what I did was fairly instinctive and the challenges therein had lost their novelty. In short, I felt stuck in a rut. So an opportunity came up and it took me just a second to realise the terror I felt at doing something new and unknown was actually very exciting. You have to scare yourself sometimes otherwise you stagnate, right? And I am loving it. I'm feeling challenged and appreciated and fired up - but, phew-eee, I barley have time to breath! And on top of that, through a baptism of fire I am learning new technologies and pretty much a completely new language. So my head is spinning and thoughts of the wedding are scarcely registering.

But nine months - only nine little months to go! 303 days! 7272 hours! 436,320 minutes!

Can it be true? It some ways it seems like just yesterday that N asked me to marry him. And yet I've also grown rather used to being engaged and sometimes forget that it is not an end in itself but leading up to something else - something bigger and more special.

So before too many more of those minutes, hours and months flit past, N and I are going to have to stop and use a few of those moments to chill out, think about what we're doing and enjoy each other's undivided attention. We just need to cross paths long enough to try and decide where and when!

Leave it to the master ...

2009-09-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

Just read the wisest words From A Practical Wedding

I might just print this off poster size and hang it on the wall - or just keep it folded up in my wallet in case of emergencies!

Meg - you rock. Yeah you do!
I love your wonderful blog and your uncanny ability to put into lucid words exactly what's been on my mind.

Also today a certain someone reminded me what I'm getting myself into. Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I don't know - it's how I feel right now. Via Work is not a Job

What comes after? (a bit of a ramble)

2009-09-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

My parents have been happily married for thirty-four years. (N’s have too). They have a great partnership that was unquestionably solid as a rock for us girls as we grew up despite my father often having to be in far-away and dangerous places. I don’t think I ever really heard an argument between them, not ever. They have their little niggles and irritations (usually based around Papa getting deaf and Mama getting blind!) but they don’t shout at each other or bitch about each other. Really not ever.

Yet, although they couldn’t have set a better example to me, I don’t hold them as a blueprint for my own relationship with N. They are them and we are us. Likewise for N; he’s proud of how in-love his parents still are but he doesn’t want to be them. Every relationship is as unique as its individual parts. What is right for them might not make sense to us, with our own particular upbringing, baggage and, let’s not forget, era.

One thing I do think N and I have, for which we certainly have our parents to thank, is a lack of cynicism regarding the institution of marriage. Relationships can last forever; they need hard work, a solid base, support and room to breath but they do work – we have the proof! I feel this belief, especially in this day and age, is a great lesson and a precious gift. I know there are a million different reasons why a couple split up and often it may be for the best, but I also think sometimes it’s the easy route. No that’s wrong, sorry. Not the easy route, but that we’re taught it is the next step when things get hard rather than being taught that true life-long-love is worth fighting for and working hard for.

These ponderings have been prompted by a link posted by one of A Cup of Jo’s guest bloggers in her "Secrets to a Happy Marriage" series. I was so moved by the author’s strength and honesty. It’s easy to look at long and happy marriages with rose tinted glasses but I’m sure every success story has a lot of hard work, individually and as a team, behind it. It’s not sexy and it’s not conventionally romantic but the rewards are so great and that’s what I want to model our marriage on.

No source for these pics as I've had them saved for ages. And yes the last one may be a bit gratuitous but Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward were known as having the longest marriage in Hollywood. Bogard and Bacall is just such a romantic story although I don't doubt they had to work very hard. And as for Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn - well they may never have married but they're my favourites; they just radiate love, respect and fun.

Twinkle Twinkle

2009-08-30T05:13:00.000-07:00

[via Style me Pretty]

I just love little twinkling lights and pretty lanterns - if I had my way we'd have them all over the flat. N points out that they have a tendency to look a bit student bed-sit so - fortunately - he has curbed my over-enthusiasm (for now...)

[via snippet and ink]

However, since I've started saving pictures for wedding inspiration, the ones we both sigh over and give two thumbs up to are the ones featuring strings of lights and lanterns. There is something so happy, festive, magical about them. So we're in agreement that these will feature heavily at our wedding party - strings of fairy lights over the dinner tables and around the dance floor, lanterns hung in the trees and on the ground to light steps and paths.

[via snippet and ink]

N has started making prototype lanterns - so far they appear to be incredibly complicated feats of engineering. I have faith though ...

[wish I could remember where I got these - sorry!]

Now I can hear the drums and whistles echoing over west London - it's time for reggae beats, jerk chicken and probably a stinking hangover and sore limbs tomorrow - it's Carnival time - woo woo!

[a friend took this - can't remember who but it was definitely Nottinghill Carnival 2006]

T minus ten months

2009-08-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

According to Brides Magazine, these are all the things I should have done by now ....

1) Meet priest and book church date and time
ok - done that. Good start

2) Book the reception venue
Nope. They still haven't sent their quote - grrr

3) Book caterer
Nope

4) Book DJ and/or band
Umm - sort of. We've mentioned it to our musical friends ....

5) Decide guest list
Ekkk!

6) Decide on budget
err, mumble mumble

7) Book your photographer and videographer
Not even started

8) Make sure the church or wedding venue allows photography
What!?! Might they not? Ekkk!

9) Choose your attendants, best man and ushers
Yes! phew. Oh, has N asked his ushers yet???

10) Decide on your dress
You have to be kidding

11) Choose and order your attendants' outfits
Hahahahaha

12) Order your wedding cake
well, we're making it - does ordering from myself count?

13) Start looking at honeymoon options
just looking? yes looking we're doing a lot of ....

Should I be panicking? Sometimes I am. I call Mama and tell her I'm feeling a bit fussed and she says "ach, Bellchin, don't be fussed. It'll all be fine." So I believe her. Silly wedding mags - what do they know?!

A little elopement fantasy ....

2009-08-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

Another beautiful sunny weekend - oh, if only they could last forever!

Our very good and very musical friends (see last post) have a little cabin in a little meadow on a little island in the Thames. To celebrate musical friend's wife's birthday they invited a group of us to camp in this little meadow and join them in barbecuing, guitar playing, bonfire singing, marshmallow toasting, occasional rowing and brave swimming and general countryside fun and laughter. It was a bit of a Brazil reunion since most of us had been at musical friends' wedding. I made this cake, with cardamon instead of rosemary and lots and lots of compote. It was good! It really really was. It took a little effort to work out the American measuring system (how can it be that we do it so differently?!) but it was worth it. I wish I had taken pictures of my handiwork but it was eaten too quickly so here is one from Sunday Suppers - oh how I love that blog!

While we were lazing about on blankets in the sun one of the girls complimented my dress, a loose tunic-y thing with coloured smocking around the collar. I'd pinned up my hair with some little white flower clips (£2.99 from H&M - bargain!) and we were making daisy chains. She suddenly said "you could get married right here, looking like that and in this beautiful place". I pictured it for a moment; a little elopement, barefoot and in a pretty summer dress with just a few good friends. It sounds so romantic, so special and serene.

And it is.

But a moment later I realised - it isn't us.

People often ask if we're having a big wedding and I usually say "oh no!" partly because I don't yet know who or how many people we'll invite and partly because I think 'big wedding' implies vast expense, showing off, relatives taking over and hundreds of guests you don't know let alone love. In other words; big wedding implies wack.

Well, obviously I don't want any of that but really celebrating and making the most of the occasion is important us. One of the things I fell in love with is N's ability to make everyone feel special and at ease - he's a people person through and through. He loves to party, loves seeing people he loves have a good time. His friends and family mean the world to him, he's outgoing, he's fun to be around and totally genuine. I'm maybe not as affable as my man but I'm outgoing and love a shindig and, I'll admit, I do love hosting. Family and occasion mean something very important to me and luckily they mean the same to him.

So a big hoopla of a wedding, with traditions and food and music and aunties and uncles and lots of friends, ceremonial in parts and raucous in others, I think that is more our style. Still special and romantic in it's own way.

[photo by a friend. Yup, that's us - bang goes the anonymity!]

(and unfortunately I don't think I'll ever be described as serene ...!)

Lazy Summer Weekend

2009-08-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

What exactly happens on a weekend doing nothing much? Here's what I did...

Stayed in on the Friday night we had planned to go out dancing because N got home from work late, I wanted to cook risotto and read blogs and N wanted to play with his records in his geek room. And I was so happy!

Completed a certain artistic project I have been involved with for the last few weeks - I'm going to stay stum on this one for now; suffice to say it's a gift for my folks and the artistic skills are not my own.

Baked a really pretty yummy spiced apple cake with apples from folk's garden (I might post the recipe shortly because it turned out so well)

Had supper with our very good and very musical friends on their roof - it was at their wedding where N asked me to marry him* - We ate much of afor mentioned cake and danced in the warm sunny evening.

Nursed a hangover (left over cake helps a lot with hangovers!)

Tidied the garden; tending to the sweet peas and harvesting tomatoes and throwing away rather dead herbs. I'm ridiculously proud of the produce coming from the pots in my little patch of urban space.

Read lots and lots of weekend papers as well as the September issue of Vogue - almost as yummy as the cake.

Also read a lot of blogs - I mean I really really read them. I clicked on every link and comment. Now I'm feeling I'm a little over whelmed but I found some absolute stars. For example, couple of fellow Brit Brides Seven Weddings and Our Day by Design and a couple just gorgeous reads Naturally Nina and Create.

*just realised I haven't yet told our engagement story properly. Hmmm ....

Alan, Alan, Alan, Al, Al, Alan

2009-08-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

I've watched this about 20 times and it is still making me laugh

Clearly, I'm a girl of simple tastes when it comes to laughter.

Oh, look Will Farrell is on Sky Movies .....

Tres élégant...

2009-08-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

My current obsession with stripes continues unchecked by having just seen beautiful Audrey Tautou in Coco Avant Chanel with little sis. We came out both quite determined to pout more from now on.

But back to the beautiful dresses that seem to be all I can think about at the moment (mild exaggeration, but just mild). I have totally fallen in love again! The superlative Style me Pretty offered up this beauty today and my knees really did go weak for a moment:

This isn't an actual real wedding but a photo shoot and the dress is supplied by a shop in Atlanta Georgia. Booo! Too far away and since video conferencing has been invented I have no excuse to go there. (more pouting!)

I did a little bit of detective work and I think it's this dress, Antibes from Cymbeline...

Although I think it looks nicer in the photo shoot. (I almost said 'in real life' there - tsk, dreaming again!)

But what have we here - another, if possible, more stunning dress from the same designer!! Too much heart fluttering for one day - I blame Coco for this fit of sartorial gluttony.

all pictures from Cymbeline website except the last one which is from Brides Magazine.co.uk

A good week's round up

2009-08-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been over a week since my last post - and I meant to be so much better. I get too distracted at reading everyone's lovely blogs though and never quite get round to writing anything myself.

So what has happened in the last week - first we went to this festival

Space theme so sparkles and stars all over everything. And to give you an idea of quite how lovely this boutique festival is; I lost my camera - lots of tears from me at all the pictures lost as well as curses at the alleged thief - only to have it handed into lost property the next day, without even any rude photos added!

My very very pregnant best friend came too - she should have come as the moon she is so perfectly spherical. Can't wait to meet whoever is inside that belly of hers!

Then during the week, we feasted with friends under the stars in our wee back garden and I went on my first proper wedding-dress trying on session.

Oooh, that was fun! We went to Pronovias on Bond street - my littlest sister and maid of honour and I. It was so interesting; what I turned out liking and what suited me. Lots of the dress pictures I have saved so far are of rather sweet and pretty dresses but that style actually looked totally wrong on me; as though I was dressing up as a little girl. (I am 30 after all!) And the more fitted fishtail designs, which I always thought too grown-up and dressy for our countryside wedding, looked, well really lovely. (!!) We only went to get ideas though; I'm hoping to get something cheaper and more sustainable than designer and although my head was turned by a lovely lacy vintage style number I'm still determined to keep the price tag realistic.

We ended the week westwards, sunning ourselves with Sunday papers in Somerset with my Mother and Sister-in-law-to-be, so blissful!

So here are a few of the lovely dresses I won't be wearing due to my being about eight years too old - goodbye pretty dresses ... one last oogle!

Top row l > r: Luisa Baccaria; via Brides; via Bridesmagazine; Stephanie Allin; Lisa Warninger; Luisa Baccaria
Bottom row l>r: Bridesmagazine; David Fielden; Kitty Chen; Seraphine via Brides; Jasper Conran; Jasper Conran

Thank Frock is Friday

2009-07-31T07:16:00.000-07:00

Off to party in a field with friends old and new this afternoon - the car is full, not just with tents and wellies but also almost our entire bedroom. N and I don't really do capsule packing - we'd rather sleep in style and comfort so duvets, pillows, inflatable mattress, Turkish floor rugs, lanterns and camping chairs all get brought along. Now we just need to pray it doesn't rain .. too much - but we'll party on regardless of course.

Next week I'm going for my first proper wedding dress trying on session. I have collected a lot (I mean A LOT) of pictures of pretty dresses but really have no idea what I'll end up going for.

This is one I found on Sugar Love Weddings - love it's beautiful vintagy floatiness; delicate without being prissy. The dress is by Hanna Kossowska and the bride in the photo shoot couldn't look more gorgeous, no?

Right - hitting the road to festival fun - see you next week! x

More Awesome Advice

2009-07-28T14:46:00.000-07:00

OK, not so much advice as just a really cool thing my boy said to me that made me feel better about a lot of things.

I've bit feeling a bit, sort of, I don't know, weird about wedding planning. For some reason I'm resisting getting excited - as though I don't want the day to be an anticlimax or I don't want to be bored of it before it even happens. Also, there is a little bit of me that isn't sure I deserve a big fuss and so don't want to seem as if I'm making a fuss - does that make sense?
I don't know where these paranoid thoughts are coming from ... it could be slightly to do with the length of our engagement, maybe it's the intolerable Bridezilla label that gets thrown around, or possibly it's someone giving me the exact opposite of good advice who's put these thoughts in my head (I'm not going to dwell on that.) Possibly it's because I'm not really feeling real about it yet - or maybe, the most likely scenario if I'm honest, I'm just over thinking it. (A common failure I'm afraid)

So I let slip some of these thoughts to N and also might have mentioned that I had been "advised" not get overexcited about a one day event because it'll make married life seem disappointing afterwards and it'll drive a wedge between us (yup - still not dwelling...)

N was of course irate - not just on my behalf but also at me for even considering this as a valid opinion. His words, after a bit of swearing were - "do get excited - get as excited as you bloody well want - this is an exciting thing, and it'll only happen once and it's really really exciting!"

Thanks hon!

He also said that if we do get gloomy afterwards, or overwrought before, we'll deal with that when the time comes - and not by imaging it before.

And those are sound words and ones I intend to pay heed to.

Advice

2009-07-24T02:26:00.000-07:00

A good few precious pearls of wisdom have come my way over the last six months of engagement (often from the wonderful world of blogs) but recently they have been coming thick and fast from people around me.

I am determined to keep these in mind over the next eleven months (and beyond) so onto the blog they go..

The first is from a colleague who was married at the end of last year. (In fact, I hardly know her - I'm not even sure of her name although we always bump into each other in the kitchen and she's very friendly - I've reached the point where I feel I can't ask anymore!) Anyway, she spotted my ring and after the usual congratulations and when? where? and have you found a dress? questions she said what so many recently marrieds say and which never fails to annoy me - she told me how stressful the few weeks before her wedding were.

Why do almost strangers have to tell you this?

I have felt as though they want to knock my down a peg;
"don't be too excited, don't be too happy"
or they are asking for sympathy for a traumatic event.

My annoyance must have shown on my face because she then said this:

"don't worry, it's good stress - you're organising something so wonderful and anything worth doing is worth getting a bit stressed over. I wouldn't swap those stressful weeks for anything."

How fabulous is that?! Stress gets bad press but she's so right - really it just means you give a damn.

Her name is Jenny - she's worth me making the effort of finding out!

Hard at work

2009-07-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

(originally written 21st June)

This is definitely a holiday and not a wedding recce but obviously we are trying to get a bit of planning done especially since we've got la Mama and her Italian skills here.

We've pencilled the Rocca after a pretty successful meeting with one of the managers and N is now priming himself for negotiating prices. It shouldn't be too hard to knock them down a bit as most tourist based businesses here are seriously struggling at the moment. The local town, a Mecca for Chiantishire, was eerily quiet on this, the first weekend of the high season. It may sound a bit crass to be making the most of other's misfortune but until now a lot of them have been charging silly money and getting away with it (a newly opened but distinctly average build to let villa we considered renting for our guests quoted us 5,000euro a week - it sleeps 8! - err, no thanks!). Negotiating money makes me feel a bit queasy but luckily N's pretty good at it. We all have out strengths...

What is proving more complicated is the actual marriage part of the wedding - who do we speak to book the church? And exactly what paperwork do we need to marry in a Catholic church? We keep making little steps forward but not really getting to our intended destination which is locking down the date. So far a woman from the local council has promised to fax me something and we've got the phone number of someone who runs the church diary but who is currently on holiday.

Right, that's enough hard work - back to the real purpose of our being here...

Molti Fiori

2009-07-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

[originally written 25th June 2009]

So one of the tasks we've set ourselves on our trip out to Italy is to make a note of which plants and flowers are out and at their best at this time of year. As I mentioned in a previous post I've been pretty keen on using wild, seasonal and indigenous flowers for our wedding. Well of course at this time of year, before the burning heat of July and August, we're spoilt for choice.

It seems however we are not going to have a choice in the colour scheme. To my surprise it's not cornflower blue or Tuscan oranges and yellows that dominate but ... pink.
Soft, pretty blousy pink. I'm not against the colour - I quite like the paler shade's shabby vintage qualities. But I wrote it off for our wedding as way too girly and cute and not N's cup of tea at all. (Plus the brighter shades really do not suit my colouring at all.) But really, we honestly don't have a choice - it's everywhere! Climbing roses, hydrangeas, geraniums, oleander, and wild sweet peas by every road side. If you can't beat it ...

can't stand the rain, 'gainst my windows

2009-07-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

[originally written 23rd June 2009]

Err - I don't want to sound like a crazy Bridezilla - but this weather is not OK and someone up there better do some serious shaping up before this time next year or I'll show you some thunder and hail storms!

Jeez - it's nearly July, it's just been the longest day of the year and we're in god damn Italy. Sure when the sun is out it's glorious and the occasional cloud can bring some much needed relief from heat. Even when it's raining it's warm enough to swim but the lower terrace has flooded twice, the view looks like Scotland in March and we've had hail stones as big as olives!

To the amusement of all - I am not amused. Everyone keeps telling me it's a freak occurrence that can't possibly happen two years in a row (but what about Wayne and Coleen Rooney last year?!) Or that the only way to guarantee clear skies is not make any bad weather contingencies - hmm. I not a gambler; turns out I'm a worrier!

So this is kiiinda ok - I can deal with this - sort of

this is NOT!!!

and what the hell is this??! hail -  what f*%# is it doing on my holiday?!

my mister wondering when Argyle got Olive Groves?...

what ever you think of them you have to feel sorry for this - right? [via the Sun]

but just in case you thought I was all doom in gloom - here's me dancing with a salamanda in the sunset - and you need the sun for a sunset! yeah you do!

Oh, only three hundred and sixy-five days to go ...

2009-07-16T14:38:00.000-07:00

[Originally written 27th July 2009]

It's now officially less than a year until "the Big Day". I'm still veering between blase and mild panic.

N and I celebrated our minus one year anniversary by going out to dinner in Florence - we went to Zar Zar's near the Marcato Centrale and sat in the Piazza on their mismatched colourful chairs under twinkling fairy lights. I wish I had taken a picture but we were really just lapping a moment alone together. Apart from a few baking but tired hours on the morning we arrived, it is the only time we have had to ourselves. That's no complaint as it's been a great holiday so far - Mama & Papa, a little sister and various cousins are here. But the family fun might explain why we haven't yet got around to doing a little task we had lined up for this milestone...

A few months ago we heard a feature on Radio 4 about people who have written letters to themselves in the future. It was very moving; sometimes poignant and sometimes funny and it gave us the idea to write letters to each other and ourselves to be read at some point in the future. The first one will be written now, to be ready on our wedding day in one year's time. Once we've wed we'll do some more for further in the future - possibly 10 years although will I be able to wait that long!?

On another note though - how fit are fairy lights? Must definitely have them next year ....

[some of my favourite images via Style me Pretty]

(I think - haven't been very good at recording where my images come from - sorry!)

Old Posts from Italy

2009-07-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

So these are the posts I failed to upload before - either because of dodgy connections while there or frustrating RSS issues here. I feel like such a blogging blond - hopefully all is fixed now and I'll start getting the hang of this thing!

Too much to do!

2009-07-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

Isn't it wonderful that such romantic looking fruit is also so sweet and tasty! Particularly when you have grown them yourself in your own window boxes! Tomatoes on the way....

So I know I still haven't managed to up load my Italy messages - the photos need sorting out still and I am up to my eyeballs at work organising a shoot that seems to be escalating every second. Surely organising a wedding (with a fraction of the budget, cast or movement order and loads more time and friendly faces) can't be as stressful.

In the mean time I found this which I love - via Credit Crunch Bride.

It's Charles Darwin's very practical and empirical notes on marriage which end with such a heartfelt exclamation! - apparently he wrote all sorts of his thoughts about career and prospects while jotting down his daily notes on animal breeding. This is scribbled on two scraps of paper titled Marry and Not Marry.

Notes on Marriage by Charles Darwin

Not Marry?
Freedom to go where one liked
Choice of Society and little of it.
Conversation of clever men at clubs
Not forced to visit relatives, and to bend in every trifle
To have the expense and anxiety of children –
perhaps quarrelling –
Loss of time –
cannot read in the Evenings –
fatness and idleness –
anxiety and responsibility –
less money for books
if many children forced to gain one’s bread (But then it is very bad for one’s health to work too much).
Perhaps my wife won’t like London, then the sentence is banishment and degradation with indolent, idle fool.

Marry?
Children – (if it please God) –
constant companion, who will feel interested in one
(a friend in old age) –
object to be beloved and played with – better than a dog anyhow
Home, and someone to take care of house
Charms of Music and female Chit Chat –
These things good for ones health but terrible loss of time
My God, it is unthinkable to think of spending
one’s whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working, and nothing after all
No, no won’t do
Imagine living all one’s days solitarily in smoky
dirty London House –
Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa
with good fire, and books and music perhaps – compare this vision with
dingy reality.
Marry! Marry! Marry!

The gift of sight

2009-06-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

I have returned from my back to back southern European holidays and am melting! What the hell is going on? I've gone from the cool of Barcelona's medieval streets and Tuscany's shady olive groves - to the unrelenting furnace of London.

I wrote a few blog entries while I was in Italy but being buried deep in the woods and hills our Internet connection is delicate and vulnerable to the slightest gust of wind or snuffling wild pig. Therefor none of them uploaded but I will post them retrospectively when I've caught up on stuff.

In the mean time a whole new world has been opened up for me by those magicians in Vision Express - yes, number one of my pre-wedding resolutions can be ticked off - I now wear contact lenses.

Amazing!

Suddenly the every-day details of Oxford Street are revealed in all their urban beauty - who knew?

And I had no idea that, as I walked through the office, people often look up and smile!
They must have thought I was such a grumpy bugger for ignoring them all these years!

I can now catch up on Wimbledon on BBC-HD - in really real high definition! (Go on Andy!)

I'll be able to see everyone's faces at my wedding next year without getting horrid red marks on the bridge of my nose.

And I can see how much all the little plants in their pots in my garden need watering even while I'm sitting here at the dining table - wow!

Better use my new found powers for good and give those thirsty herbs what they want ....

[centre point via flicker]

Friends (virtual and real!)

2009-06-12T02:32:00.000-07:00

A very quick post before I go off to Barcelona on a weekend break with six girlfriends (including my future maids of honour and little sister). Very excited as I've never been and everyone says such great things about the place. Most excited though about spending time with my best peeps - we don't see each other enough!

Also a very quick but big big thank you to Anna of Anna and the Ring - my new virtual friend! - who very kindly bestowed upon me a lovely blog award. How sweet! Makes me feel guilty though for updating the blog so sporadically!

So the rules are:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
2) Pass the award to 10 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered.

Well - these are some of my favourites:

the beautifully sane and first port of call in crazy wedding planning moments
A Practical Wedding

My first blog love
Absolutely Beautiful Things

Ever cool and amusing
Gangsta Bride

Beautiful and delicious
Lobster and Swan

Can't wait to read more of her wonderful words
Mother and Bride

Brilliant - my new favourite
Oola Moola

An inspiration and doing the deed TOMORROW - all the best Peacocks!
Peacock Feathers and Diamond Rings

Love love love - and so talented
Peonies and Polaroids

I'm addicted to her words, pictures and music and also one of my first blog loves:
Pia Jane Bijkerk

Love her style:
Soul Pretty

So you see - not too bride heavy, but all very very inspiring and a havens from the crazy world. Keep doing what you do!

Invitation Inspiration

2009-06-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

I have to admit I never really imagined having anything but a rather plain traditional invitation; landscape card with a centered simple serif font, maybe something similar to this:

[via dafont dot com]

possibly in a grey or pale blue and giving all the usual pieces of information. No graphic swirls, blousey pictures or cute phrases. I know the beauty of wedding stationary regularly comes up on blogs and some are entirely dedicated to the subject. That kind of thing never really appealled to me though, and often seemed dangerously close to cheesy. I thought the only way to prevent getting it slightly wrong would be to go traditional all the way.

N felt differently though. He liked the idea of something more homemade and personal and admitted to finding most of the traditional invitations we received a bit boring.

Hmm, how to make invitations that reflect who we are and our style but aren't naff!?

Well, 'homemade and local' seem increasingly to be the buzz words for our wedding day and we still have plenty of time so bring on the ideas ...!

[via touch of europe]

N suggested maybe something inspired by vintage postcards or film posters - we have quite a thing for vintage forgein film posters 'round our place.
Then after our trip to Italy, we thought of maybe having something drawn that was linked to the location. Littlest sister is the artistic one so we asked her whether she would consider dusting off her paint brushes for us - maybe an olive branch or some the thousands of poppies that spring up around the house at that time of year.

Then, while trawling through some wedding p0rn I noticed these invitations on Style Me Pretty and my heart went all of a flutter. I love their slightly whimisicle sketchy and very personal style. Look how sweet:

[via style me pretty]

Little sis was all on board and has started thinking up ideas. To explain what I had in mind a bit more clearly (sweet, whimsicle and sketchy sounds a little vague) I went to an illustration agency web site and collected a few examples.

[via eye candy - from l > r top row: sam wilson, rebecca bradley, karin akesson, rb
bottom row: rb, rb, style me pretty, ka]

Get the idea? Hmm - maybe it's still too much in my head - I'll keep you posted on what little sis, N and I come up with.

To do do do

2009-05-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

Now we do have a great big scary Wedding to-do list, partly on the advice of all the WIC sites out there but also because I am genetically inclined to organisation (and am making a career of it).

However there is another to-do list that I haven't yet written down but have been carrying in my head for a while. None of the things on it are essential to the wedding. I'm little sad if I hear of girls who suddenly feel this great pressure to loose weight or change whatever about themselves just for this one day event

.... however ....

maybe a special memorable day thirteen months away is a good motivator to do some of those things I have been meaning to do for a while.

So with that in mind - here's my "not wedding related but wedding motivated to-do list"

* Get fitted for contact lenses - I really don't relish the idea of sticking my finger in my eyes but in the summer it becomes a choice between being blinded or being blind (or, at Wimbledon, wearing my big trendy sunnies over my specs - suddenly not so trendy).

I would like to be able to see what's going on at my wedding without being speccy four-eyes!

* Take Dancing Classes – now I know this is a fairly traditional bride and groom stuff but we have been meaning to take classes for ages (years in fact). We did a few Salsa classes and loved it, danced ourselves silly all over Brazil and have a not-so-secret obsession with a certain BBC dance show (yes, both of us!) On top of that, Tanzschule (dance school) in 6th form is the norm for my German cousins so N’s gotta keep up if he wants to join the family!

* Relearn to Drive – I can drive and I used to do it a lot, from one end of the country to the other in my cherry red Polo. But now I don’t have a car and N drives his company car and suddenly, it’s been 4 years and I’m out of practise and scared to get behind the wheel.

Pathetic and must be sorted ASAP!

* Improve my Italian – languages are not like riding a bike; they are more like maintaining one – ignore them for long enough they get rusty and dusty and squeak a bit. There are Italians in my office but the furthest I get is exchanging pleasantries. I feel it’s only right I should be able to articulate more than that if I’m getting married over there right? (and N says he’s going to try his hand at a bit of Deutsch!)

* Get fit – I don’t mean starve myself skinny or destroy myself with unachievable goals … but just get off my ass once in a while. Apparently it gets harder to do once you’ve had kids so this might be my last chance!

* Grow out my fringe – harder to do than I thought. Might require some seriously dedicated exertion!

and one for the boy who, although practically perfect in every way, has one area in which he could improve …

* Give up smoking!

Back in Blog

2009-05-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

Good golly, over a month’s hiatus from blogging – hmm, not very committed or dedicated of me! I do have some excuses though.

Foremost of these is that I have been feeling a bit disconnected from the whole wedding planning thing. We had a big rush of excitement with the engagement and then the trip to Italy and the plan coming together and then ... not much! I read blogs and save some pictures of things we might like but somehow it seems so far off and unreal. Kindly people ask, with an expectant smile, how the wedding plans are coming along and I haven’t really much to say other than “great!” which is probably as much as most people want to hear anyway.

The other excuse is that I got burned – and not in a metaphorical way but in a right-arm-looking-like-giant-bubble-wrap way. Eeeek!
I was of course very brave about the whole thing (!?) but it did make me feel ugly and scratchy and a bit miserable as well as very stupid for letting it happen in the first place.
However, as the saying goes, every cloud has its silver lining or rather, in this case, a flowery one. I decided that as essential to the healing process as antiseptic pain relief cream were also some beautiful scarves to cover my bandages. Liberty’s was just across the road and has a bin full of hankies for about £6 each on the haberdashery floor. So, relishing the excuse to go into one of my favourite places in London, I treated myself to some beautiful cotton handkerchiefs in their lovely prints – so joyful and spring like and just what the doctor [should have] ordered!

And this is how I convinced myself that our bridesmaids would look lovely Liberty print sundress – now I just need to convince them!

[click for full image]

Spring is sprung flower love

2009-04-21T15:39:00.000-07:00

[images via 1st row l>r: Martha Stewart, Saipua Flowers, MS;
2nd row: Jose Villa on Snippet and Ink, Leigh Miller photography, Style me Pretty;
3rd row: MS, Meg Smith Photography, Saipua Flowers]

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm drawn more and more to the idea of wild or native flowers in unarranged arrangements. I love mixing herbs, leaves and lots of different blossoms, putting some of them in jam jars and hopefully have lots growing all around us too. I made the above collage on mydeco.com - love the site but it was a real pain and took ages for it to be rendered and then made available for me to copy. But, hooray! Peacock Feathers recommended Picassa which I shall be using from now on. Get ready for lots more random collages of things I like - I'm planning on revelling in the possibilities of anything and everything until the day comes when I will have to start knuckling down and making some final decisions (not for ages, surely?!)

So on that note - here's a another collage, nothing to do with the wedding but everything to do with Springtime and my happy smiley mood.

[all images my own from my folks' lovely garden]

Weird Dreams

2009-04-16T09:47:00.000-07:00

Every now and again I have strange wedding dreams - usually slightly anxious ones where something weird happens that seems like a huge crisis in my sleepy world. Last night however was a little different. It was my wedding day or the day before. As happens in dreams, I was somewhere that was supposed to be the house in Italy but sort of wasn't. We had everything still to organise and everything was very home made. Little sister was collecting an assortment of plates and anything you could sit on for the dinner (up turned buckets, a tree log.) Meanwhile I was writing a long list of things we still needed on a post-it for Papa who was about to go on a shopping trip to the local co-op. On the list were place cards and suddenly it occurred to me that the post-its would do perfectly. I remember wondering why I hadn’t thought of this before!
Mama and Papa were picking wild weeds and branches and sunflowers that were growing everywhere. Everything was very calm. I was a little worried that I didn't have a chuppah yet, but we just took a sheet from the house and decorated it with the branches and wild flowers and it looked perfect.

[image left via Arum Fleuriste, image right via nvhurr designs]

Weird, because although I am very interested in the Jewish faith and their pragmatic approach to life's celebrations and hurdles, I'm a Roman candle and have never even been to a proper Jewish wedding - maybe it was the long chat I had had earlier that day with a Belgian work-friend about her Passover celebrations that lingered in my brain. Anyway, when I woke up it slowly dawned on me that I couldn't really have a chuppah in a church and a vague feeling of disappointment followed me around all day.

[image via Bloomsbury]

I did like the scheme of the flowers being natural and simple, like bunches of wildflowers. Mmmm, save that one up for the idea’s board! (vetoing the post-its though – however colourful!)

[image via David Gunter on Flickr]

In Boy's words

2009-04-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

I was planning to write an outline plan of action for the wedding day. Then Boy sent an email to his best friend from University who has moved away to Singapore and since he copied me in, and I love his enthusiasm and he pretty much hit the nail on the head -
I thought I’d use his words …

From: BOY
To: uni.mate@singapore; mate's.boyfriend@ singapore
Cc: bells @ nozze
Sent: Tuesday, 7 April, 2009 22:33:40
Subject: Fw: Italia shapes & japes!

So … we've pretty much planned and set out our whole Italian long wedding 'weekend' and it's going to be
!!!AMAZING!!!

we want people to come for as long as possible around the actual wedding day itself. And are getting loads of info and prices for cheap but fabulous nearby places - rooms in castles, pools, etc and pretty hilltop winery type things. All accommodation is within 15km of wedding and the house. and ideally we're looking at places where lots of friends can stay together as this is more fun for all. (i.e. local) there are 2 local old wineries converted into accommodation / villas each sleeping up to 50peeps.

plan so far:
up to June 25th - lots of preparation etc. . ...

Friday June 25th 2010
hang out in day, hopefully with arriving friends - final prep - then having a party night before wedding (called a Polterabend) - german thing - will be fun.

Saturday June 26th - wedding in beautiful local church in Paese* / walk to aperitivo's at near by Rocca di Paese / little break to catch breath / then dinner, speeches, party at the house - booking Bob’s* band but this is hush hush to everyone - only you know (and Bob!) - huge dinner on 1 massive long table running along terrace between the big house and capanna, then Party / Band & DJ's (Bill* etc.) general dancing the night away - Then to the 'after-hours party' area away from the house but in the grounds - party until sun rises (we're preparing a separate party area so we can all carry on through - for kids and any party-head oldies. Think 'Cafe Del Mar meets a Disco in an Olive Grove' kind of thing!!

Sunday June 27th - pool side breakfast / hangover / more wine & limoncello? .

I'm enjoying just writing this stuff down!! Damn it's gonna be good!!

it will be amazing and you two must, must be there (for the whole weekend at least) - but why not make a few days of it?.

sweeet - can't wait to see you

love spring x

*I've changed names and places etc - I'm new the whole blogging thing and I'm not sure yet how anonymous I should be.
Anyway - aperitivo is the pre-dinner drinks reception and the Rocca is a big old fortress. Paese means village and is the teeny tiny place nearest to our house. The Capanna is a little stable at the bottom of our garden

Three down, fifteen to go ....

2009-04-07T10:20:00.000-07:00

I have now been engaged for three months and one week. It is apparently fourteen months and nineteen days until my wedding day. And we have managed to do a fair amount …

Weddingy stuff we have achieved in 2009 so far:

Boy asked the question and I said yes – lots of tears, excitement and fireworks - hooray! (Technically it was 2008, although it was already 2009 back home so I think that counts)
Told all the most important people during vastly expensive phone calls – most of the rest found out on awful Facebook which we would have avoided if we could but we couldn’t
Came home to London and told them all, all over again
Had our announcement in The Times and The Daily Telegraph – so all our parents’ friends now know too
Read lots of wedding websites and brides blogs and started to get imaginative
Went to Hatton Garden to get ideas for the ‘ring of dreams’ (that’s all Boy’s department now though)
Started to share notes on a Google Doc on anything we thought of that we particularly liked
Started to write a guest list – gave up when it started to dawn on us quite how huge my family is and quite how many friends Boy has (oh no!)
Shared all this with parents and parents-in-law-to-be during a lovely lunch where everyone had tons of great ideas and no one pooh-poohed anything – again hooray!
Also discussed money at said lunch – agreed we didn’t want a big show-off affair. Parents and Parents-il2b generous, everyone realistic
Turned 30 (oh no!) but best friend organised big fancy dress party – oh yes!
Asked my two best un-married friends to be my maids-of-honour – lots of tears and excitement
Asked my two little sisters and my sister 2B to be my bridesmaids - more excitement etc
Went out to Italy with Mama, Papa and Boy to recee, thinking we’ll get lots more ideas and hopefully pin a few things down
Suddenly everything clicks. A structure is formulated and a plan comes together
Papa loves the prospect of having a son – they cut down trees and dig holes and do all the things that daughters only do reluctantly. I love Boy a lot.
Come home and share the plan with the rest of the family – everyone thinks it is GREAT!
Read too many wedding websites and brides blogs and started to feel a bit jaded
Decide that once we have locked down the bigger logistical things (church, venue, caterers, etc) we’ll take a break from planning over the summer and come back to it refreshed and invigorated in September
Decide I will definitely not try on any dresses until it is less than a year until my wedding (probably)
Start keeping a blog
Read wedding websites and brides blogs – but with a happy sense of perspective and measured excitement

The important thing for me at the moment is to try and maintain the joy and delight of Boy asking me to marry him. Luckily he’s so enthusiastic about everything that it’s not hard. I can’t tell you how lucky I feel to have a boy who doesn’t roll his eyes about anything wedding related or think his job is just to turn up, but reminds me everyday how lucky he feels too. Hooray hooray hooray!!

NB

2009-04-07T10:13:00.000-07:00

author's note - I wrote most of the last post ("I do I don't") some weeks ago before I started blogging but thought I'd keep it for posterity anyway just to see how things change (or not)

x

I do, I don't ...

2009-04-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

At this early stage I only have a vague shimmery, just-out-of-reach idea of what I imagine the wedding to be like.

But somehow whenever I try to explain it, it ends up like a list of “don’ts”. I seem to be clearer on what I do not want rather than vice versa. Is that bad? By the same maxim, whenever I start looking at wedding dresses or style guides or such like I find myself more taken by the really tasteless or ridiculous; laughing hysterically at bridal magazines and wedding catalogues. Poor Boy has got quite fed up with me saying “look, I’ve found the perfect dress!” and then showing him something like this:

[image via uglydresses.com]

Or emailing him links to horrible usher gifts or wedding themed loo paper!

Do all brides go through this stage or is it just my warped form of procrastination?

[image via Fab Gifts4all.co.uk]

I will write my list of wedding "don’ts" but wish to emphasise a very important point to anyone who happens to read this – these are our personal preferences. I’ve been to lovely weddings that have many of these things; I don’t think there is anything wrong in any choice made by any couple if it feels right for them. If you’ve always dreamed of wedding themed loo paper, have it! I do really hate it when people say “you shouldn’t have this” or even “every wedding has to have such and such”. Someone said to me recently, “I can’t stand morning suits, noone looks good in them.” and I hadn't even asked for their opinion!

Anyway – here it goes in no particular and pretty random order:

we don’t want round tables – long narrow tables are less formal and you get to talk to people opposite as well as next to you - fun!
we don’t want matchy matchy colour schemes (where the flowers match the bridesmaids match the waistcoats match the napkins etc etc)
we don’t want it to look too stiff and formal (probably no morning suits then!)
on the other hand, we don’t want it to look too stingy or slapdash (as Boy says it’s getting the balance between home-made charm and a shoddy looking kiddie party!)
don’t want the bridesmaids in block colour dresses – possibly not even matching dresses (not sure why I feel strongly about this but I do)
we don’t want a symbolic ceremony but a proper serious catholic church wedding
no venues with carpet! (so many beautiful wedding photos blighted by ugly patterned carpets)
we don’t want to have to leave the party early and miss all the fun!
we don’t want huge arranged flowers – the setting should be beautiful enough without them
we don’t want status food or drinks (my theory is the more people you feed the less fussy the food needs to be – save Cordon Bleu for dinner à deux)
I don’t want hundreds of bridesmaids (problem – two sisters, one sister-to-be, one sister-in-law-to-be, four best friends!)
we don’t want to cripple all our families financially. It is after all one day out of our whole lives. Also we both have two younger siblings each who all deserve wonderful weddings too one day
I don’t want Boy’s family to feel like just guests but fully involved members of the 'decision making committee' (especially since it is taking place at my parents house)
lastly, we don’t want to be in England

This last one has been sorted out but maybe I should explain. Although we could have a lovely wedding in a marquee at my parent’s house in England it never felt like an 'us' option. I’m not 100% British and having a 4Weddings & Funeral style event, although lovely and classic, felt like it would renounce a significant part of my heritage. We also wanted something different and memorable that didn’t follow the blueprint set by the many weddings we have attended (we’re in our 30s!) which can start to blend into each other. Most importantly the house in Italy is a place we have shared and both love. We went on our first holiday together there, Boy had his 30th birthday party there with all his best friends, his parents and grandfather have been and loved it and not a year has gone by in the last six (or for me, practically my whole life) when we haven’t been at least twice. It’s still the traditional bride’s father’s house but with a significant modification.

Hmm - seems like pretty negative post - but I'm still feeling positive and I know I'll start getting my head around what I do want soon!

Who? When? Why? Where? What? How?

2009-03-31T05:06:00.000-07:00

Isn’t “who” the most important thing?
I met him, and his huge grin, in a sweaty club in East London nearly six years ago. Disreputable as that sounds (and we were both very worse for wear) next day we hung out in the early summer sunshine telling each other everything about anything. Turns out we had been set up – a very old friend had asked me to the club saying, with a cheeky wink, that he had lots of handsome friends who’d do for me! I laughed him off, but as it happens my boy was his housemate and now that old friend takes full credit for what followed.
At the start of that long hot party filled summer, my new boy said to me “we’re going to have so much fun together!” I’m not one to easily fall in love and have habitually kept a guard up but it was as if he assumed we’d make this work and always be together. He’s the most natural, unaffected, open person I have ever met and he believes everyone else is the same – it’s impossible not to drop your guard, forget all the rules, stop playing games and love him.

So that’s our “how we met” story - it may not put Mills and Boon out of business but it’s romantic to me and I feel lucky and loved!

We’ve not rushed anything (neither of us are rushers) but enjoyed each stage of our relationship until the next stage feels due. We moved in with friends four years ago and last year got our own lovely little garden flat just big enough for the two of us (and all his records!) I won’t say his asking me was a surprise as we have talked about marriage for years but the moment he proposed was. I’ll save that story for another time – this post is getting saccharine enough!

So when and where? In line with our ‘not rushing’ life theme, we’ve set the date for June 2010. This is partly because we want to get married in Italy and trying organise that from London in the space of five months seemed too much like hard work! We’d rather enjoy the process and not have a stressful time of it.

and Italy because – well, lots of reasons but mostly because my parents have a house there and it’s a place we have shared and loved and always imagined would be where we’d get married so we never really considered anything else.

[image author's own]

and Why? – LOVE! (see above)
What and how? that’s what this blog is all about I guess....

Why blog?

2009-03-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

Why blog?

I’m not really sure – I’m particularly not sure I’m entitled to! The blogs I like best are those written by creative and/or artistic people. They are not just about the minutiae of their everyday lives but give the reader something different; either by sharing lovely pictures and design, witty or beautiful writing or an interesting or funny perspective on life. Those are talents I’m not sure I posses – a great appreciator of talent and beauty, yes, but not a purveyor.

However – I’m engaged (woo hoo!) and although I know this far from marks me out as different or original in Blogsville it’s a special time for me. And so I have two main reasons for keeping a diary of sorts during this period:

1) as record of the process to look back on after it is over, (never to be repeated!) hopefully with pleasure and the occasional hind-sighted smile

2) an engagement by it’s nature is a period of looking forward to something and I always regret those times when I have lived too much for the future and haven’t taken in the moment. Hopefully by keeping a diary, I’ll prompt myself to relish these moments as they happen

Who knows what is ahead - this might even help me keep from turning into Bridzilla! (or maybe it’ll have the reverse effect*). Welcome side-effects would be teaching myself to organise my thoughts and to keep my writing concise and clear. We can but dream ….

* A wee tickle of doubt I have about blogging is that I sometimes suspect diary keeping can make people more introverted and self-absorbed – hmmm....?

** hence the narcissi – although they have also just all come out in my garden and smell so divine! hooray for spring and being betrothed!!