I'm not I'm not I'm not

But in case anyone was wondering how I want to NOT celebrate NOT moving into the early (shh, whisper) 30s this weekend...

It would start with this...
and with warmer toes...then playing with my kind'a toys ...(don't ask but I really really want/need one)
and doing some important research ...

and finishing with some treats for ears and heart...


Please.

Thanks

via 1. This is Glamorous 2. via Need a Present 3 & 4. via Amazon 5. wish I could remember - sorry!

Hunting for Dresses part un

(also known as part urrrgh)

It's funny how often the second or third question people ask when hearing of your impending nuptials is "have you found the dress?"
I have to admit it stressed me out somewhat - I totally over thought the whole process of picking a dress and went searching for some deeply esoteric philosophy on the whole thing and just generally tied myself up in knots. Mostly this was because there was a really expensive dress that I really liked and that was just a bummer because I felt stupid about wanting to spend so much on a stupid dress.
But now that I have found a dress I know why people ask that question. Because now I have the dress I smile a sort of secret happy smile when people ask me - because I am picturing the day itself so much more clearly now. And because the dress I found is so much better than anything I could have hoped for. So I guess people ask because they hope to see you pull a happy face (or maybe it's because it's more obvious than asking "have you chosen your font for your place settings yet?".)
As you can maybe tell from the collage above and from my previous posts here, here and here I spent months collecting tons and tons of pictures of dresses from millions of different sights and scrolled through them more often than was healthy. It sometimes felt like deciding who was going to be rather than what I was going to wear. Silly - but also fun in it's own way.
Then eventually I started going to shops which was usually a bit overwhelming. I think it may have been mentioned on a few other blogs before but, damn it, wedding-shop assistants can be annoying as hell! It should be like one of those dressing room montages in a movie - try on some totally wrong but funny dresses, laugh and pose and then find the right one. But those bloody assistants are always there in your face, "helping", commenting, or even looking non-plussed (and in some cases suspicious) - none of which puts you very at ease in my opinion.

Nope - montages don't work in real life and I was finding the amount of brain space this choice was taking up stressful if not say distracting from the things that really matter. It was winter - I was endlessly ill. I was fed up. So I took a break and refused to even look at another dress.

Beetroot lovin' from a slightly random but totally ace little sister...

I wasn't entirely honest about Valentines in my last post because I did get something special in the post. Thing is, it arrived on Friday when I was feeling really down and snuffly and in need of comfort. So I tore it straight open and gobbled up the contents without savouring (or taking a picture).

But it was so beautiful - the envelope was a brown paper heart sewn with blue stitching and inside was an other cellophane heart stiched with blue as well and inside that was a little silver heart and inside that was a pink coloured heart-shaped cake with red cherries in it. I did feel quite a bit better after eating it. And then felt guilty that I hadn't saved it or done anything in return.... what a bad big sister I am!

Told you she was artistic

Real romance

No Valentines stuff for us* - just a weekend away from London and planning to stay with my bestest bud and the beautiful baby boy she's gifted the world (with some help from master cook husband). Frankly I couldn't think of anything more lovely to be doing than watching my godson blow yogurt raspberries across the kitchen! What a charmer!

And on Wednesday I am going with littlest sister (the arty one) to my very first dress fitting. Very very excited and strangely nervous - will it look as nice as I remembered? Oh, I haven't told you yet about the finding of the dress, have I? Well I'll save that up for after the fitting...

(*ok, maybe I accidentally bought some Pierre Hermé macarons and we ate them on Sunday night and maybe I said 'happy valentines' when I let Nick have a crumb or two but the truth is I bought them because everyone in Blogsville has been saying they are better than Laduree and I needed to know (NOW!) if this was true. So not really Valentinesy if the truth be told. I'll even admit that I couldn't make up my mind and will need to conduct a few more tests to reach a conclusion. So there!)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder*

*and that includes you sunshine!

OK, so I took some unplanned leave from the world of web but I am back now and full of good blogging intentions! Promise!

But we haven't been slacking on the actual wedding organising at all - though an awful lot of it is logistical or official stuff which is maybe why I have been away from the blog for so long. I balked at trying to make signing forms and paying bills sound romantic or exciting.

Having said that - it suddenly does feel rather exciting. We did our Marriage Care course (obligatory but actually recommended); we've had several meetings with Father John from our parish church (he's nice); we filled in all kinds of paperwork and dug out everything that documented our past (birth, baptism, communion, 25m swimming); we met with a solicitor friend to sign our "Declaration of Freedom" (best pronounced in a Braveheart warble I think); we registered a wedding list (although choosing any gifts is as yet too daunting); we created a very homemade website (actually just a blog in disguise); we researched and contacted every hotel in a 10k radius for our guests; we been keeping track on a super spreadsheet all the messages from friends and family about who was arriving and when. And lots lots more stuff, and as we did these little tasks and chores the magical far off unreal feeling about getting married lessened and the real, practical, solid feeling increased - exciting in a whole new way!

And also ... a bit terrifying. Because it seems that with every task we complete another ten pop up in their place. And thrilled though I am about how many of our wonderful loved ones have booked their flights and hotels I'm getting not infrequent anxiety dreams about them all showing up and there being no food, or pissing rain/hail/snow (it could happen, even in Italy!) or the priest being really horrible (we haven't met the one in Italy yet - eek!) or a power-cut, or or or, I get a HUGE spot! (I have a huge spot - grr)

OK - deep breath - it'll be fine - we're in wine country and our friends are ace - surely a recipe for guaranteed fun., yes?

Yeah, most of the time I do take a deep breath, I read this post on APW, and I smile and look forward to hazy fragrant summer days. And dancing ... and dancing ... and dancing ... with my husband....

Shh, don't tell anyone, but we've been learning to dance - it is soooo much fun - yup, it's not all been paperwork and panic attacks; we've done loads of fun stuff too. More of that to come shortly.

photos via Lanalou and A Foxy Wedding (I think)

Winter Blues

I feel as though I have had a tissue attached to my swollen red nose since the clocks went back. I really dislike winter – I love the idea of frosty clear days, snuggling by a fire and cute cashmere socks but the reality of damp toes and darkness and layers and layers of scratchy wool make me cranky. I’m no good at being ill either and I’ve gone from having strep throat to full on cold and just when I have finally recovered Christmas party season starts and I’ve caught “wine” flu. Whinge whinge whinge!

But little bits of progress on the wedding front are cheering me up (although trying to imagine June is almost beyond me). Deposits are down on some important things, one of which is the venue for the aperitivo (reception) just after our service. It’s a medieval fort in the middle of the village which has a nice restaurant and rooms where some of our guests and most importantly, Nick’s family, will be staying. They also make their own wine and beside the old cellars they have a lovely big lawn that looks out over the vineyards and across the beautiful valley to our house, where the evening’s festivities will be taking place.

My ever stoic parents have just returned from there where they were getting the house and garden all winter ready and frost proofed but found time to also negotiate a great deal. We slightly get the feeling that the people that run the venue are better at wine tastings than hotel bookings so it took longer and more effort than it should have done but done it is.

Mama did make me laugh though – Nick sent her a list of his immediate family members so she could choose and reserve the nicest rooms for them and he forgot to include himself on the list … this was her response:

Dear Nick and Bella, I have rung Joe about the nicest rooms, but here is what I think *(I am going to be very bossy and strict here, forgive me):
There is a reason for the tradition why a bridegroom must not see his bride on the wedding day before he sees her coming down the aisle towards him, in fact at midnight you two must go different ways - I hope for the last time in your whole long blessed life together!!!! No way are you going to get dressed together with curling tongues lying around and wedding dress hanging from a hook...
So you, Nick, have to join your family for just that last night and Bella will come to us if that's ok.
Saturday night I suppose there will not be much sleeping at all but Bella's room at home will definitely then be Mr. and Mrs. T’s rooms and on sunday you have to decide if you go off on your honeymoon or spent one more night in the vicinity before you go away. that is totally up to you and you can even keep it a total secret from anyone.....(also a tradition for a reason..)
Is that ok??
m

OK – maybe you need to know my mother to know how endearing this is. We’re definitely all of the opinion that you can pick and choose whichever traditions you want and leave the rest but this one clearly means a lot to my Mama!

Our home in Italy last Christmas - seriously!

Illustration via Print Society

Present Prospects

Less than a month Christmas and December has really snuck up on me. I bearly know what I'll be doing for the festivies let alone what I am getting anyone, especially Nick (ahh – boys are so hard to buy for!) and the crowds on Oxford Street are already making me hyperventilate with fear. And I’ve got all the prospective in-laws to buy for too as well as my own over-large family. Humph!

I usually do a massive round of baking and making during advent with the premise that home-made edible goods are more loving and much more valuable than the usual Christmas tat (and a bit cheaper!) However this year work is so overwhelmingly busy that I get home at nearly 10pm and have just about enough energy to drag myself to bed and it doesn't look like it will let up until it's too late. Actually, it’s not so much the baking I don’t have time for but the buying of ingredients – I just can’t face the shops. Maybe I’ll order a delivery from the supermarket and put my pinny on during a Strictly and X-Factor marathon.

Of course the thought of presents for friends and family naturally leads my mind, selfishly, to their presents to me (I mean us – sorry) in the coming year. Yup it’s the dreaded Wedding List (cue horrified scream here!)

Do we, don’t we? What’s reasonable, what’s achievable? Do we even need anything? Can we fit any more stuff in our little flat? How do we know what we’ll need in the future? And if we do go ahead with one, where is the best place to go? I know which one is the most obvious choice but I sort of feel everything from John Lewis looks like, well, that it’s from John Lewis.

As for what to put on this list, if we have one, I already have more kitchen gadgets than our house can handle and have inherited crockery and bowls and things so the usuals are covered (although I do yearn for a Kitchenaid!)

ooh - blue to match my pots and pans!

I think what we'd like most on our wedding list is good bed linen - Peacock Feathers was recently blogging about Dorma, one of the nation's oldest bedlinen brands, which made me think what a good present that would be. It’s quite symbolic - the marriage bed and all that - and definitely for both of us together. (I’d be lying if I said Nick would appreciate a Kitchenaid as much as I would.) Plus is there anything more delicious getting into a freshly made high thread count sheeted bed?

image via Dorma - I usually prefer plain white sheets but Darcey is slso so sweet!