I'm not I'm not I'm not

But in case anyone was wondering how I want to NOT celebrate NOT moving into the early (shh, whisper) 30s this weekend...

It would start with this...
and with warmer toes...then playing with my kind'a toys ...(don't ask but I really really want/need one)
and doing some important research ...

and finishing with some treats for ears and heart...


Please.

Thanks

via 1. This is Glamorous 2. via Need a Present 3 & 4. via Amazon 5. wish I could remember - sorry!

Hunting for Dresses part un

(also known as part urrrgh)

It's funny how often the second or third question people ask when hearing of your impending nuptials is "have you found the dress?"
I have to admit it stressed me out somewhat - I totally over thought the whole process of picking a dress and went searching for some deeply esoteric philosophy on the whole thing and just generally tied myself up in knots. Mostly this was because there was a really expensive dress that I really liked and that was just a bummer because I felt stupid about wanting to spend so much on a stupid dress.
But now that I have found a dress I know why people ask that question. Because now I have the dress I smile a sort of secret happy smile when people ask me - because I am picturing the day itself so much more clearly now. And because the dress I found is so much better than anything I could have hoped for. So I guess people ask because they hope to see you pull a happy face (or maybe it's because it's more obvious than asking "have you chosen your font for your place settings yet?".)
As you can maybe tell from the collage above and from my previous posts here, here and here I spent months collecting tons and tons of pictures of dresses from millions of different sights and scrolled through them more often than was healthy. It sometimes felt like deciding who was going to be rather than what I was going to wear. Silly - but also fun in it's own way.
Then eventually I started going to shops which was usually a bit overwhelming. I think it may have been mentioned on a few other blogs before but, damn it, wedding-shop assistants can be annoying as hell! It should be like one of those dressing room montages in a movie - try on some totally wrong but funny dresses, laugh and pose and then find the right one. But those bloody assistants are always there in your face, "helping", commenting, or even looking non-plussed (and in some cases suspicious) - none of which puts you very at ease in my opinion.

Nope - montages don't work in real life and I was finding the amount of brain space this choice was taking up stressful if not say distracting from the things that really matter. It was winter - I was endlessly ill. I was fed up. So I took a break and refused to even look at another dress.

Beetroot lovin' from a slightly random but totally ace little sister...

I wasn't entirely honest about Valentines in my last post because I did get something special in the post. Thing is, it arrived on Friday when I was feeling really down and snuffly and in need of comfort. So I tore it straight open and gobbled up the contents without savouring (or taking a picture).

But it was so beautiful - the envelope was a brown paper heart sewn with blue stitching and inside was an other cellophane heart stiched with blue as well and inside that was a little silver heart and inside that was a pink coloured heart-shaped cake with red cherries in it. I did feel quite a bit better after eating it. And then felt guilty that I hadn't saved it or done anything in return.... what a bad big sister I am!

Told you she was artistic

Real romance

No Valentines stuff for us* - just a weekend away from London and planning to stay with my bestest bud and the beautiful baby boy she's gifted the world (with some help from master cook husband). Frankly I couldn't think of anything more lovely to be doing than watching my godson blow yogurt raspberries across the kitchen! What a charmer!

And on Wednesday I am going with littlest sister (the arty one) to my very first dress fitting. Very very excited and strangely nervous - will it look as nice as I remembered? Oh, I haven't told you yet about the finding of the dress, have I? Well I'll save that up for after the fitting...

(*ok, maybe I accidentally bought some Pierre Hermé macarons and we ate them on Sunday night and maybe I said 'happy valentines' when I let Nick have a crumb or two but the truth is I bought them because everyone in Blogsville has been saying they are better than Laduree and I needed to know (NOW!) if this was true. So not really Valentinesy if the truth be told. I'll even admit that I couldn't make up my mind and will need to conduct a few more tests to reach a conclusion. So there!)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder*

*and that includes you sunshine!

OK, so I took some unplanned leave from the world of web but I am back now and full of good blogging intentions! Promise!

But we haven't been slacking on the actual wedding organising at all - though an awful lot of it is logistical or official stuff which is maybe why I have been away from the blog for so long. I balked at trying to make signing forms and paying bills sound romantic or exciting.

Having said that - it suddenly does feel rather exciting. We did our Marriage Care course (obligatory but actually recommended); we've had several meetings with Father John from our parish church (he's nice); we filled in all kinds of paperwork and dug out everything that documented our past (birth, baptism, communion, 25m swimming); we met with a solicitor friend to sign our "Declaration of Freedom" (best pronounced in a Braveheart warble I think); we registered a wedding list (although choosing any gifts is as yet too daunting); we created a very homemade website (actually just a blog in disguise); we researched and contacted every hotel in a 10k radius for our guests; we been keeping track on a super spreadsheet all the messages from friends and family about who was arriving and when. And lots lots more stuff, and as we did these little tasks and chores the magical far off unreal feeling about getting married lessened and the real, practical, solid feeling increased - exciting in a whole new way!

And also ... a bit terrifying. Because it seems that with every task we complete another ten pop up in their place. And thrilled though I am about how many of our wonderful loved ones have booked their flights and hotels I'm getting not infrequent anxiety dreams about them all showing up and there being no food, or pissing rain/hail/snow (it could happen, even in Italy!) or the priest being really horrible (we haven't met the one in Italy yet - eek!) or a power-cut, or or or, I get a HUGE spot! (I have a huge spot - grr)

OK - deep breath - it'll be fine - we're in wine country and our friends are ace - surely a recipe for guaranteed fun., yes?

Yeah, most of the time I do take a deep breath, I read this post on APW, and I smile and look forward to hazy fragrant summer days. And dancing ... and dancing ... and dancing ... with my husband....

Shh, don't tell anyone, but we've been learning to dance - it is soooo much fun - yup, it's not all been paperwork and panic attacks; we've done loads of fun stuff too. More of that to come shortly.

photos via Lanalou and A Foxy Wedding (I think)